Monday, June 30, 2008

Everybody's talkin' at me...I don't hear a word they're sayin'

Sometimes y'all are hilarious about this bike racing. Helmet controversy? That's a good one. Boy, you know you were a dick about that one. It's ok. Heat of the moment shit. You're a good kid even if you're an internet pain in the ass occasionally.

But let's not forget the potential retiree. The Lantern hit the nail on the head. How can you retire from fun. It's not that some of you are just lack any kind of perspective regarding this life.

What a tragedy it must be to turn 30. I think my original Air Jordans just turned 25. Experience is a comb life gives you when your hair is gone.

Cone of Silence

Kiah, you didn't go hunting with Dick Cheney, did you?

I'm home today with the girls. Kiah had her tail amputated last week because of an infection. She's on 5 different medications, one of which she absolutely hates the taste of. We tried peanut butter and cheese and she still spit it out. Right now she doesn't have the cone on to save the walls in Mrs house. Kiah has a follow up vet appointment on Tuesday or Wednesday. Snowy must like her because she hasn't started any shit with her.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Presenting Kiah

Kiah comes to us from Canada by way of South Dakota (she knows Snakecrotch) and NE Minneapolis. She's a purebred Golden Retriever and 8 years old. I saw her on the RAGOM web page and set up a meeting with Snowy last night and picked her up this morning at 8:30. She's timid right now but she will be fine after a day of attention. Her theme song will always Sweet Child Of Mine by Guns-n-roses because it played on her way to her new home.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Wolves draft OJ Mayo from USC

We've started the process for finding a sister for Snowy. This is a tricky endeavor for all concerned.

I haven't written much lately due to laziness.

Another round of postcards went out but I don't have a few crucial addresses such as Josh the Peace Coffee delivery man and Chubby. Want a postcard?

How many diseased elm trees are in Richfield right now? A shitload.

Previously mentioned laziness, $4 a gallon gas, no 35 W bridge and did I mention laziness...these are my excuse for not going up to Blaine on Thursday nights.

Interval training is no fun at all.

We're having problems with the new computerized ventilation system. Tropical plants would flourish in the exercise room.

The Star Tribune has great coverage of new Timberwolves draft choice OJ Mayo. Problem is, they made a major trade around midnight and ended up with Kevin Love. Oops. It's ok, I really like Kevin Love. I hope the NBA works out for him. He has the personality to own this town.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Thanks Jank

Nothing like coming home from work to a gift. Thanks Jank, the forester is definitely a black op.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Trust me, it's short

Because my asshole brother took a shot at me when I was in Chicago about paying someone to mow my lawn, I'm going to keep staff landscaper Kevin on the payroll the rest of the summer.

Tuffy won't return my e-mails from Argentina or Guatemala or wherever the heck (ha ha, I meant fuck) he his. I'm in the mass e-mailing right now. Tuffy's got nothing on my Aunt Dorothy from Kenosha's Christmas form letter.

I worked out (shit I'm clever) on the Public Works Department's new exercise equipment after work. I even rode a stationery bike to see what it was like. I heard a soccer mom bitching on 66th Street so I felt at home.

Speaking of 66th Street I almost got creamed in the roundabout by Target by some guy in his work truck. He told me at the light by Cedar that he was sorry and is blind in one eye. I told him to have a nice day.

Leftovers from the open house

The chips will go first, then the ice cream bars and then the cake. There are some hot dogs and buns but they'll be gone by 9 o'clock.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Don't Touch Nuthin'

My general lack of organizational skills has really screwed me over and I can't find certain needed paperwork at the new place or the old place.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Cops in cars, the topless bars...

Minneapolis's finest are truly amazing. I'm proud they protect me.

What color are the windows of the trains in your world?

All things considered I'd rather be taking the Metra through the West Side with Mrs right now. Chicago gets in your blood and never leaves. I'm the most relaxed standing in downtown Chicago with the El Train screeching overhead and cabbies laying on the horn.

For Debbie

The Salad Ultimatum has been carried out by Snowy and I.

Mrs has the steering wheel in my back today

Snowy and I are chillin'. I've already escorted, had coffee with Jake and Jason at Freewilly Greenway and had a take home breakfast from Collosallusski Cafe...all before 8 am on my day off. What are you doing with your life?

Mrs asked me (nicely) to pick up a salad to go with tonight's dinner. I may be able to fit that in around Snowy and mine's tight schedule today.

I saw Big Jim the guy on the other end of the phone at World Cycling Productions this morning. He's a day brightener.

You know I really feel for you whipped boys who are lead around with your wedding ring in your nose. Aaah hell, go on Ebay and bid on a set of balls.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

I think the camo makes me look at least a pound lighter

Yuckin' it up with the Painman and Master Cullen waiting in the start line at the Dog. Master Cullen has a new seat on his bike that clearly qualifies as an ass hatchet (Thill) and the Painman wrecked his coiffure with that helmet. I took off from the line like a turtle and involuntarily unclipped and kept my speed at a constant 18 to 25 mph to crawl in at 19:42 which was 27 seconds faster than last time. I didn't achieve my goal of 7 miles in the aero tuck but hell that's the way things go. I'm pretty happy with the effort and need to work on my general conditioning and eat an apple fritter the size of a hub cap right before the race.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Time to say Good Night to the male nurse

Alright Benita, your 15 minutes starts tonight. Link is up. We do one link at a time because I said so.

The Dog Abides

I missed Black Dog two weeks ago rinsing out my skivvy shorts for my trip to Chicago. My goal for this evening is to stay in the aero position for the whole race. I don't care what my time is. The key to being faster is the aero position. That, and limiting my intake of pastries throughout the week. Pastries during the race are kinda tough because Black Dog Road is in pretty rough shape.

Monday, June 16, 2008

For Skinny Boy Biking

I was tagged recently about books I'm reading. Ha, ha, that's some funny shit. I couldn't get a picture to download so please refer to the header where there's a picture guessed it...books.

Now, I've read some of the George Carlin book and intend to read more and the dark blue one is Alcoholics Anonymous which I was required to painfully read like 100 pages of. The book about Wrigley Field was given to me by Big Daddy's brother Gene who paid a whole quarter at a garage sale for it.

I'm just not a reader and admire people who are much in the way I admire people who have 10 drinks on Friday night and don't turn that warm-up into a 3 week bender.

I'm Ready

Duane missed the phone training. Now he's changed his password and can't remember it. God I love him. My other office co-workers are back at the old garage with a dumpster in the middle of the room. Aah, the last days of Saigon... We'll be pushing loaders into Taft Lake this afternoon.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Inspection Day

Staff engineer Snakecrotch wasn't around so Mrs and I rode the Dragger to inspect 3 of the 4 major construction projects. Actually, you can never find a cop, engineer or prostitute when you really need one.

This photo and the preceding one are of the Gopher's football stadium. They'll be playing football there in the Fall of '09.

35W Bridge is going gangbusters but they're working 24/7 and think it will be open in September which is ahead of schedule.

Mrs is just too f-ing cute to not take a picture.

Don't fall into the river.

Twin's ballpark is at that I still can't tell what they're building stage.

The red sign says 2010 home plate. I really can't wait. I don't watch baseball indoors.

Sunday morning is ideal for reading the paper and self-torture

Just catching my breath after 11 miles of interval training. I didn't waste time going to the Cedar Lake Trail to torture myself, I did it in the neighborhood on 42nd Street. Between Chicago Ave and Bloomington Ave which is sorta downhill and with a tailwind I hit 30 mph. With my current state of chunkiness at that speed I'd have a pretty good chance of totalling your car in a head-on collision.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

The Warrior Princess Returns To A Hero's Welcome

Mrs took her bike out while I was out with HC and hit some garage sales in the neighborhood. The HC Ride was good even though we went to Saint Paul. You know what? I don't have to like Saint Paul or Milwaukee if I don't want to. As I say, great men died fighting wars so I could be free and voice my disapproval about Saint Paul, Milwaukee and the suburbs in general.

I've got 2 black bikes, GD'it! Let's Krylon the Kogswell in an urban camo theme and call it good.

I'd have to say seeing Ma and Gloria today were among the highlights of the day. Gloria makes the best cookies. Ma's cookies were good until she started making them with less of the heart clogging ingredients so my step-father would live longer.

You know, I like blogging but when I seem to start caring if this stuff is any good then I just get pissed at you nitpickers. True, not all of you are nitpickers.

I'm not crabby. I'm a workin' man in my windows.

Friday, June 13, 2008

These aging suburban white boys should just shut up - Mrs

Reported to the new place this morning although it's just me and the Water Dept clerk Beth here right now. Beth swears almost as good as I do. We'll get along fine. No coffee pot here yet. Take me to Defcon 1!

Mrs quote which is the title for today came this morning during our ride to the hospital. She says her male co-workers are always claiming they could ride 20 miles to work every morning. 20 miles first thing every day is a bunch...especially in the winter.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

but the hot plate's brand new...I guess I showed her

We start moving our stuff to the new garage today. Computer and phone will be hooked up this afternoon. The rest of my crap may take weeks to move. I have mixed feelings about leaving this place. I've reported here for 20 years and it's home. The new place will be great but we've got to get that new car smell out of it first. Some burnt toast in the lunchroom will do the trick.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


Back to work. Who cares? I sure don't. Phone training at the new garage this morning. Shit, and I forgot my pillow.

One of the reasons motorists in the Twin Cities are so aggressive is that there's almost no chance of your little pissy road rage earning you a cap in your ass.

I wonder if a cabin on that Lake Delton in Wisconsin (dam broke, lake drained) could be gotten for a reduced rate? I can't swim so water sports aren't my bag.

This thing is starting to bore me at times.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

One at a time

They tell you at treatment to have staying sober today as your goal. As one of the guys at an AA meeting said, 'every day at midnight we've made it through another one'. He received his medallion for 25 years that night. That made me realize that it would be a lifelong battle and not just the period I was in treatment. Today, it's been three years and I'd be lying if I told you the cravings still don't surface once in a while. But, as Mrs says, 'if the memories were all good you'd have no reason to quit'.

Monday, June 09, 2008

I drove through Wisconsin and lived

Me and my nephew Daniel from this morning. I'm glad I hung around to see him. He's quite easy to amuse and seems to have a pretty good appetite.

My niece Aimee who's a little afraid of me...actually, a lot afraid of me. The picture doesn't show it well but we were showing each other our teeth like the wild dogs that we are. She received a little make up kit which didn't include a roller or trowel.
Had a great time in Chicago.I still think drivers are more aggressive and pissed off here. I returned home with donuts which delighted Mrs. I could walk around downtown Chicago for days. When I'm walking around during a work day I really feel unplugged from the Matrix. My train to downtown was delayed inbound by an accident with a pedestrian committing suicide. My afternoon train was delayed because a freight train had leaked some kind of animal fat on the tracks and the cops weren't sure it wasn't hazardous. Not bad, huh?
I paid $4.29 a gallon for gas in the suburbs of Chicago. After filling up I noticed the place across the street was only $4.09 a gallon. Whoops.
I took my single speed brown bike and never took it out of the trunk.
One more day off from work. Don't call too early...sleeping in till 7.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Aimee's 3rd birthday party

That's my nephew in the helmet and Aimee at bat. No injuries occured.
Daniel with his Grandma. He's a good eater and easy to make laugh.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Friday, June 06, 2008

The Puppet Bike Rocks, Baby

Blogger is slower than shit so I'll go to my favorite photo of the day. The puppet bike is just one of those little pleasures that makes me remember that in spite of all the bullshit you take at work and ridiculous energy prices and all the hate in the world...that for a moment you can just be a kid on Michigan Avenue.

Today's legenda

Early train downtown with the office slaves. Just plan to walk around and take a few photos and meet my nephew Paul. There's a blues fest at Grant Park so I'm sure I'll check that out. Have a great day wherever you are.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

America Under Siege

I'm glad the welcome mat was out.

For Allan who wimpered like a ...

No Black Dog last night for me

I stayed home and watched Kevin clean our gutters and give the lawn the once over. Off to Chicago today. Pictures from the road will follow. Ran across a guy on deer hunting trip in Wisconsin who had the classic line for packing clothes: ' My wife packed me 9 pair of underwear for the trip...I'm set for today but what about tomorrow?'

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

You got it...we're as "green" as f***

My boss was quoted in this story. I told him: 'Why aren't you the quotable MF'.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

State Fair Crit

Not bad huh Carla? No vamping. I didn't hang around for the boy's race. My mommy promised pizza and who can turn down pizza?