Monday, March 31, 2008

Alley shots courtesy of MnDOT

Don't put those slicks on just yet

That was actually one of the tougher commutes home. I took the knee warmers out of my bag this morning because I was sure it wasn't going to snow too much. I rode in a pair of bibs (Revolution Cycle and Ski) and cargo pants which worked out pretty good this morning but left me with some cold knees because of the soaked schpantz this afternoon. I'll live.


but now I'm a big G...I got the money

If you haven't already, it's probably time for you wankers to start shaving your legs. I can only wonder what the he-men of the MFD think about a man shaving his legs. DC, comment if you wish.

Full slate of major league baseball openers today. Today should be a national holiday. No, I don't much care if you think baseball is boring.

Mr Klauck from the famous Freewheel Bike Shop brought his border collie/bird dog mix named Evie over to meet Snowy yesterday. At one point Evie was sitting completely underneath Snowy and it was the cutest GD thing you ever saw.

My boss told me that some guy called Friday because I pissed him off about a tree on the lot line. I've dealt with this little bitch before. He's a hard ass on the phone. He ain't so tough in person.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

I shot RUNNING in the leg

Mrs browsing at the Turnstyle over near the Minneapolis/Edina border on 44th and Something.
Action footage of our hero.

RUNNING knows that I'll be back to finish the job.

Thanks for the girdle, Doom

Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo

Do high school kids still smoke pot?

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Black Hawk Down

We hire college kids for the summer. I treat them like this.

Ghost Bike Minneapolis

Ghost Bike Minneapolis


Ghost Bike Minneapolis will host a short memorial ride on March 30th, 2008 in remembrance of Ed Gorecki, a cyclist killed by a hit-and-run driver on December 11th, 2007. A white bicycle will be placed in Northeast Minneapolis at the intersection of Quincy and Broadway as a memorial and a reminder to ride and drive safely.The Ghost Bike Project is a nationwide effort to increase awareness of the dangers bicyclists face, and to encourage cyclists and drivers to share the road. More information can be found at memorial ride will begin at 1:30 on March 30th, at the east end of the Stone Arch Bridge (MAP). Attendees are encouraged to arrive 30 minutes early. There will be a short ride to the intersection of Quincy and Broadway, followed by the installation of a ghost bike and a moment of silence. Members of the public are welcome to attend.

CONTACTChris Farmer-Lies(952) 484-5487

HC Ride

Got my ass up early enough to ride with the HC gang. We took a nice tour of the hood on the way to Kramachycks for sausage and lively conversation.
Not sure who the guy on the left is. Cippolini? He was riding in a t-shirt. He gets the hearty mofo award and he won all the sprints.
Crappy picture that I'm going to use anyway because it shows Jim K's lovely wife Kay giving him some of her food. What a doll.

Broke off from the group and ended up at Freewheel. Tire changeover, brakes and computer warrantied and found out that the back wheel is concave or some shit like that. Do you care cuz I don't f-ing care.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Thursday, March 27, 2008

The Wire

One of Snowy's CI's (that's confidential informant) has disclosed that the great Tuffy will race the upcoming season with Synergy Racing. Calls to Tuffy's agent have not been returned. Snowy's agent on the other hand just sent me a large box of chocolates.

Don't lose any sleep over it

Lucky for you that my new phone has only 4 or 5 numbers in the phonebook...Mrs, Rosenberg, Tuffy, Duane and Ma's home. I figure you may call some day and I'll put you back in then. Or you may never call again. Isn't there a way you can transfer the numbers from your old phone to your new phone? Perhaps.

Life during wartime

Bolstad - Slapdickery personified

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Not an important post

Tree school ended today. The seminar on buckthorn and garlic mustard was exceptional. Lunch was an enchilada, rice and a salad. There were some South Beach diet items for fellas watching their figures.

I had enough time after school to stop at The Bicycle Chain where I bought a skull cap and socks. It wasn't the same because Mr Personality was there. No worries, I got the Ward Cleaver discount anyway.

Back to the office tomorrow for one day of work. I'm off on Friday.

Thanks Uncle Tuffy. Thanks a lot.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


This is my new phone. It's a piece of shit. I can just tell. Six months from now it will be in two pieces. Wow, that photo's kinda busy.

Can you hear me in the back?

Day 1 of tree school was quite uneventful. I've gone to this thing 10 years and you tend to learn something every year in spite of your best effort not to. The question and answer period is the best because that's when the what-if wack jobs have a field day. How bad will Dutch Elm Disease be this summer? The way the one expert made it sound we'll keep having big number because they stand too long after their infected. Enough about tree school.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Starbucks eats the fck out of ten dollar bills

Woo wee, we rollin' now. Just listening to Mrs Ipod and drinking coffee and blogging. May duck out to E-Bay and buy a hat. Hey Doom, baseball hat? Could be what the forester wears this summer when he marks your tree.

I know how much roadies love heavy equipment

Everybody Dance Now

Here you go sucka

There are places that have a worser winter than Minneapolis. Like the Northwoods of Wisconsin where we vacation or the Yoop. I'll let ya bellyache about winter if you can produce a photo like this. Not you eggheads in Minnesota. I'm retirin' some place warm like Dallas, Houston or Seattle. Mrs wants to get a shitty mobile home and hit the road. We can panhandle for cash.

I'm not kidding about any of this shit

It's 14 degrees right now and we can't have too many more cold mornings. I really mean it this time. Miss Debbie was expertly escorted to work by our hero and she's just so GD cute when she's riding her bike that you just want to hug her.

Why is there always some asshole who parks their car on the street so the snowplow has to go around it. Who did that? Washburn, Washburn, Washburn.

Tree school tomorrow and Wednesday at Bethel College. To say there are some interesting personalities that attend would be a bit of an understatement. Our group is among the quietest there. Not kidding.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Happy Easter

No, Mrs, Snowy and I didn't build this.

I watched basketball till there was no basketball to watch. Then I went to bed. The Wisconsin bandwagon continues on to Detroit. Boy, Notre Dame sure got their ass kicked.

Still snowing lightly in case you care. I shoveled the walk at halftime of the Pitt-Michigan State game yesterday.

We'll visit Ma today. Debbie bought a used wheelchair that we'll take over with us.

Smithers came back to blogging after the Stay-at-home-mom group he was runnin' with voted him off the island for not driving the right land yacht. Thanks Love Chunks, we can take Redmond out of his straight jacket now.
Sometimes a dog will read the paper. No, we don't have a tv the size of a barn door.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Merry Christmas

The winter that won't die just keeps on giving. Note to the boys on the HC ride- I was awakened by my cell phone at 8:28 with a text message from T-Mobile confirming the order of my new cell phone. I thought it was Rosenberg but I'm sure he's out with his snow shovel at breakfast.

Basketball games start in less than 2 hours. Guess what my plans are today?

Friday, March 21, 2008

Kids and dogs will always hide your snow shovel

Good day to take out your bike

The HI is mainly for Mrs...the best human God ever put on this earth. She never pouts or twists things around. She's my buffer against the cruel world of self-righteousness and know-it-all-ism. And she's a damn good dresser to boot.

Today may not be the day for you to start riding a bike to work. I've said it here many, many times but my favorite commuters are the people who ride from Minneapolis to Quality Bicycle Products out near the Iowa border. Commuting on a daily basis is hard.

I spoke at length to Tuffy yesterday. My father may be dead but I've still got Tuffy.

My brother in Chicago does a really good job of honoring family traditions like getting the food together for Easter. Ma would really love it.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

I shitcanned my board after Belmont lost

Local boy makes good. Of course I want one. I wouldn't buy a handmade frame from anyone else. The DS has 2 of Erik's masterpieces.

As friends go, having one who's a professional chef is perfect for a guy like me.

How about somebody explaining Event X to me.

Kup lives, huh Johnny Boy?

Cal State Fullerton 16 Wisconsin 13

Bloodlinefour Loon State 0


Not available from Swobo

Hey, Mayor of Drunkingham, I got your fancy schpantz right here. College basketball tournament starts today. Used to be a huge afternoon drunk for the City boys with me as ringleader. Duane's got me squarely on the Wisconsin bandwagon. Listen, white boys can still shoot the rock too. Hurry up and fill out your office pool board. Remember that over the last 23 years the tournament has been won 20 times by a 1,2 or 3 seed.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Oh shit, Rosenberg's blogging again!

Commission meeting last night went ok. Due to a scheduling error they needed to rush me which was fine with me. I did have to sit through a neighborhood meeting about playground equipment before my turn. Truly memorable shit. Some of the people brought their kids with. Where's B-Rose when you really need him?
Cat 6 has a training type ride tonight and I'm being encouraged to attend. The only good roadies are the ones you know. Oh, I won't be attending. I hate hills and the boys go up Ohio Street.
I know roadies, hipsters, Minneapolis Bike Lusters and Rosenberg and I identify with all of them and none of them. I have a carbon fiber tt bike and a mountain bike with a One Fucking Speed sticker on it. I have an aero helmet for time trialling and bmx helmet for winter commuting. Down Shaft.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

"Oh that Bernanke cracks me up when he talks about the economy"

Ladies and gentleman, put your hands together...

We won't have too many more snowy mornings so get out and play in it. I slip-slid-trudged my way to work and really enjoyed myself.

Meeting with the Community Services Commission tonight. We're changing the tree maintenance plan and the commission needs to review the changes. I want to be introduced like a Vegas act.

That last guy that called informed me that the guy plowing the sidewalk should move his trash can off the sidewalk, plow the sidewalk and then move his trash can back. We should be allowed to blast their trash can up on their porch.

Dancing With The Stars started up again last night. Not the same without Clyde Drexler.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Mark's tunnel video

I walked my bike through here.

No 5 hour training rides for this boy

I was so busy catching up with your blogs and reports of Cat 6's training rides that I almost forgot to post.

I rode blocks and blocks with Rosenberg yesterday. I had planned on hunkering down to watch college basketball but the Galloping Gourmet got me out of the house. It worked out well. I even saw a few people I know like Greg McCrae, Lynne, Zito and Tainter. I was even able to scare the shit out of a fellow Cat 6er on the Greenway.

We watched the first two parts of John Adams on HBO last night. I was born in Logan Square, Chicago, Illinois, United States of America. My mother and father were born in Chicago. My grandmother was born in Green Bay. Great men died so I could be called an American. I don't need to complete this thought.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

With love to Doom and Tenacious-T

Slick 50

I rode with Hurl and his entourage out to Minnetonka or Eden Prairie or North Dakota yesterday. It's out where the Greenway ends by the Holliday gas station Mrs made famous in the movie version of South Pacific. It was soft going (like riding through oatmeal although I haven't ridden through oatmeal in 20 years) in places and icy treacherous going in others. It was a great group of people and as soon as Hurl or Mark posts some photographs I'll thieve like mad.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Friday, March 14, 2008

Quiet day

Off today. No big plans. Road trip to North Mpls to pick up a Craig's List item for a co-worker. Speak by phone with Andrew 10 times and maybe ride a bike a block or two.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Red Lantern at '07 Loon Camp

It'll Do Till The Mess Gets Here

Mrs called in sick again so I stayed in bed till the last possible minute before I saddled up for the ride to work.

Boss gone. Off tomorrow. Enough about work.

Loon State Cycling has a training camp. Most of the Cat 6 boys cancelled last night's training ride, well the riding part but not the beer drinking part.

I watched No Country For Old Men again last night. I still can't tell who ends up with the money.

Mistress Julie wants comments so we'll have comments.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

We have an opening for 'Client 9's' spot

Your kiss is on my list

Usually when back wheel slides that far from underneath you the next thing you do is straighten out your lights, rub your owie and get back on the bike. Usually.

Mrs finally got the flu that's going around. That meant I stayed in bed till 6:06. She still made my lunch and walked me to the garage. The girls across the alley were leaving. Yes, they're an item. I've lived there 17 years. She's lived across the alley for 16 of those years. She's had like 17 live-ins. Anyway, the gals thought it was cute when Debbie kissed me goodbye.

Where am going with this? Not for you to know. Banana bread in the lunchroom. Hit me.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I might be out past my bedtime

I think I'll attend if my mommy gives me my allowance money. Afterward, we can stop at Sexworld for Clif Bars and Gatorade. I have to go vomit. I can hear American Idol in the next room.

Sorry girls, we just know we're money

Listen, somebody's grandmother sent me this one

The Governor Of New York Is A Bad Boy

New satellite dish, new receiver, new remote and a fabulous picture all in time for the college basketball tournament. Now all I need is a tv the size of a barn door.

No, I didn't go to work after the dish guy left. Why spoil all that positive aura with the negative ju ju of work.

Rode Brown to Richfield yesterday to annoy Rosenberg and it's a great bike to ride. I'll ride it at Wirth Park this summer. If I'm going too slow on the trail and you can't pass me then be patient. Fill in your own, or else...

Monday, March 10, 2008

It's ludicrous. I guess you know what happens next.

Satellite tv repairman was supposed to come between 8 and 12 and showed up at 7:50. How good is that? I'll probably go to work after he leaves. Maybe. Oh, the tv guy almost fell off the roof once. Not good Big Daddy.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Rare footage

Eat, nap, tv, eat,eat, eat...

Not too excited to get out of my jammies today. Mrs and I finally saw No Country For Old Men which is a great movie. If you've seen then I'll tell you I loved the ending. It's perfect. Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Bardem and Josh Brolin all play fabulous roles. I'll buy it on Tuesday when it comes out on dvd.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

I take it you slept well

'Brown' is fun to ride and it's lighter than I expected. I skipped the Hiawatha Ride this morning. I've had enough below zero mornings for one winter. I hope like hell that this is the last one. When you get up at 4:30 every morning sleeping till 6:30 is like when y'all drag your ass out of bed at 10.
In the small pleasures of life riding a new bike home the first time is near the top.

Friday, March 07, 2008

A New Bike On Swagger Friday

Here's my Bianchi that I'll pick up this afternoon. A brown bike will complement the fleet quite nicely. I might/maybe/possibly ride this bike once, maybe twice offroad. I may do a cross race on this bad boy. This bike is being purchased from Hurl at the world renowned Cars-r-Coffins Coffee Bar And Cykel Shop at 34th and Lyndale.

Can't be many more below zero mornings for us to ride our little bikes to work, school and play. We've just about made it through another winter. Just casual.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Just sayin'

You know what? I don't do shit around here and I still get the VIP treatment. Read this and maybe she'll wear her good nightgown some time. You people with kids aren't supposed to have sex any more. Pigs!!

Although I Never Saw The Body

3:16 am today and some woman calls and cheerfully grumbles: 'Where's Diane?' Not being too awake at the time my smart assness is a little off so all I can come up with is: 'Sorry honey, wrong number.'

Today's episode reminds me of the mid 80's when we lived at 1019 18th Ave NE and some gravelly voiced biker dude would call at 1-3 in the morning looking for "Zone". This went on for a couple of years. So he calls one time and recognizing it's me again he says: 'Fuck you, go back to sleep.' God, what a nice guy. I think the next time he called I came up with: 'Fuck you, Zone's dead.' Can't say that I ever remember him calling back.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Why piss me off??

Will the knucklehead who rode his bike through my tree crew's blocked street please come forward. Hmmm, Upton Avenue? Hmmm, wonder where they were going? Big fat tires? See, I don't give a shit if you do that in Minneapolis, St Paul or any place besides f-ing Richfield. I just don't want to have to hear about it and take shit for your stupidity from the boys.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Hurl? Walking Around Money?


Mrs and I took the Dragger out today for a quick ride to Milwaukee which we found to be a pretty GD boring town so...we held up an all-nite cheese shop and continued on to Chicago for some real fun. The whole journey took less than 5 hours because we were pressed for time. Snowy had a piano recital.

Andrew, next time I see you I'll sing the City of Richfield version of Ride of The Valkries. It's a little tune called I'm A Truck Driver.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Culture till hell won't have it

Accompanied Mrs to My Fair Lady at the Orpheum today. That's a musical for you less cultured types. I've been to several musicals with her. She's been to early April 35 degree baseball games at Wrigley Field with me. She took me to Ruth's Kris steakhouse afterward for dinner. Just guessing that most people who eat there tonight won't have taken the train downtown.