Friday, November 30, 2007


This is from our man in the UP, Johnny Dees. We found him almost 10 years ago and he's right much more than he's wrong. We have a weather site we pay for but we always check JD too.


Is that picture in the header just f-ing huge on your computer too? All I did was exchange photos.

It's Swagger Friday, Mr Crosby!!

This piece of handcrafted pottery was given to me by my friend Melissa. Sorry about the Packers...maybe they could play the Vikings a few more times.

I reset the egg roll record at Cleveland Wok last night. There were a load of college kids there but what do they know about eating.

This whole place is at DEFCON 2 right now preparing for the possibility of snow. First plowing of the year always yields a lot of broken shit.

Coldsprints tonight at Grumpy's Downtown. I'll be attending but not racing. Cat 6 will be doing free tattoos on-site.

Morgan, I don't think your generation could speak with out the terms: 'whatever, you suck or bite me'.

I pointed out to Mrs that there were a couple of fellas over 60 in the Jingle Cross results chart. Her line back to me: 'You don't have to lose it. Everybody just expects you to'.

Hats off to my commuting brethren at Quality Bicycle Products. That west wind is a mf.

Thursday, November 29, 2007


Smithers picked me as Commenter Of The Year over at his web page. Smithers gets like monster traffic but has a core group of about 15 regular commenters including some professional fluffers who ONLY comment on The cool thing about the Commenter Of The Year contest was that Smithers had an online vote and then set aside the results of the election and picked me which drew the ire of his regulars. Classic stuff.

Packers vs Cowboys on NFL Network. I get the NFL Network. You can come over but you'll need to bring an A-List snack. Don't wear black cuz Snowy will love you as soon as you walk in the door.

Yes, it was cold this morning for bicycling.

Jim W, I must be losing it. Some woman in a Jaguar had to hit the brakes hard so she wouldn't hit me coming out of an alley on 48th and Oakland. I gave her my varsity glare. We both had to wait for traffic at 48th and Portland. I didn't hear the car doors lock. I did see her cell phone in her hand...probably calling the old man 30 seconds after she left the house.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Sometimes, You Can Have It Both Ways


Ok, yesterday was cold. Cold for this point of winter. The calendar says fall but it's definitely winter. Mornings are always worse commutes than afternoons. Mrs, Snowy and I always go back to bed after breakfast for snuggling. I'm in the middle too, Super Rookie. Fifteen minutes after snuggle time we're out on the street riding to work. Snowy can always be seen in the window as we pass our love shack.

Another aspect of the morning commute is the 6:45 phone call from Mrs. From this call I adjust my speed to get to work on time although I was like 5 minutes late all summer. My boss won't fire me. He punishes me by not firing me. He knows how much I hate gainful employment.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Monday After Thanksgiving Brevet To Brackett

Met with Path Racer Rosenberg at CRC to discuss his re-insertion into the Mpls biking culture on Monday. He's going to be a tough sell. Hurl suggests a ride down the Greenway would be a beneficial way for Short Cut Rosenberg to introduce himself to the masses. A smokey treat stop on the new bridge is staged just in time to witness a floor show by the Minneapolis Fire Department. Chef Boy-o-boy believes the small fire to be electrical. MFD sprays water from a boom while a small flood comes out the bottom of the truck. My contacts at the MFD could not be reached for comment. Our posse of 3 continued down the Greenway to Brackett Park where Off Road Rosenberg could not be baited into a Derby To The Death. Continuing on this dream sequence the 3 man formation ended up at Hiawatha Cyclery where I made a payment on a juice loan before the vigorish kicked in. HC had a cast of thousands involved in a renovation project that would rival the building of the pyramids. Finally, and mercifully I might add, this band of desperadoes made a stop at the world famous Melo-Glaze for life sustaining pastries. The boys escorted me to Lyndale where I turned off to head to Edina for yet another battery of ink blot tests.

The End

Cross Season Recap - For Off Camber Rosenberg

Saint Cloud - September 23rd. Bike breaks before race ending the dream before it can start. Warm day. Doom wins rigged chili cook-off.

Orono - September 30th. First actual race on rainy day. Very muddy which leads me to skip practice lap so as to not get too dirty. Doom in attendance without chili. Race volunteer wipes off "muddy" number and then springs for coffee.

Lake Rebecca - October 7th. Leaves on ground give impression that it's fallish. It's 88 degrees, pea soup humid with a negative breeze. No sign of Singletrack Rosenberg or Doom.

Boom Island -October 14th. Donut hand-up and the Pyramid Of Pain In The Ass. I should have done better on this course but I didn't. I can see I have enough clothes on for 20 below.

Powderhorn -October 21st. Big run-up/ride-up/crawl-up pounds the pee-pee out of me. Pizza and donuts, who could ask for anything more. Homie Fall Fest leaves the Chesterfield Factory Team shorthanded. Rosenberg breaks 30 year old chain and gets 86ed by Geno. Doom stays home to clean gutters.

Northfield - October 28th. DFL. Kinda rolls off your lips, don't it? Fell and noggin was point of impact which produced wretched sound of Spice Girls in my head. Hollywood shows his mellow side to the officials. I was hot in my mumu and you bitches know it.

Ham Lake - November 3rd. I keep pastries in the wheel pit. Smores and tasteless comments from Mr Peacock Groove. Rosenberg can't make race because of work responsibilities. He opens a mean can of pudding. Race is held at a bible camp so I cut the swearing down by 7%.

National Sports Center - November 4th. Answer cell phone during the race. It's Homme asking for a score update on the Packer game. Packer fans, huh Mr Cullen? Muddy ditch gives roadies something else to bitch about.

Rum River - November 11th. J-E-T-S, JETS, JETS, JETS. Charming run-up which develops a large hole that we fix by jamming a soccer ball in to and covering with leaves. Gaines family finally brings family dog to a race which makes the long drive to Milaca worth it.

State Championship - November 17th. It's clear from the start that Rosenberg's biorhythms are off and he can't escape the dreaded ass crack. My outfit for the race is a work of art. I ring my cowbell like a mf leading Teresa Moriarty to gently touch my cheek one lap and threaten to take it away from me the next. Doom family makes a strong showing. I give Mrs a kiss at the run-up. Bike racing wouldn't be any fun without her.

Monday, November 26, 2007

It's a start

Gloves in the lower left corner and hats up top although there are more of both in the basement.
I took everything off the recliner in my room and piled them on the bed in Mrs room although I sleep there too. Mrs says she will help me when she gets home from work. I'm off today and will be meeting Mr Personality for some coffee and conversation. Last day off on this run.

Something to go with your coffee

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Lay the points and take the Chargers

Mrs and I stop at Kaplan Brothers on Lake Street and while I'm there the Plumber calls from Vegas to tell me he made it alive. I know he's watching the football games so I tell him to take San Diego minus 9 points over Baltimore and Denver plus 2 1/2 over the Bears. Denver looks good so far but San Diego is struggling. Glad I told him to bet the house on San Diego.

Tamales at Lake and Bloomington were awesome. Made me think of being on Maxwell Street with the boys.

Baltimore 7 San Diego 3 with 10 minutes to go in the 2nd Qtr. I expect the Plumber will be calling soon.

You're going to run out of material in 36 more hours

Up and out the door by 6:30 to take the Plumber to the airport. He'll be in Vegas with a drink in his hand by noon. I haven't been to Vegas in over 10 years and have no desire to go back to a place I had a drink in my hand 23 hours a day. It would have been 24 but you've gotta sleep. The Plumber suggests Laughlin but I'd hate to go there and be the youngest person.

Kaplan Brothers trip sounds like it might happen. Tamales around the corner. We could be on to something.

New England Patriots are a 24 or 28 point favorite at home against the Philadelphia Eagles. What is this, USC against Minneapolis Community College.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Brevet to the dark side

Most everybody is shopping, at Grandma's or Jingle Cross. I think I could blog about anything because nobodies reading it. Hiawatha ride ended up at CRC where the negotiating ended at an impasse. The need for an olive branch extension leads me to wonder how big an asshole you were back in the day. The shotgun approach works for me. Style over substance, quantity over quality. Put some type of stat counter on that turkey. You'll feel sad at first but that will pass as more readers find the tortured bastard ex-messenger.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Back from Utopia

Just look at Snowy with her new "tufted storage vanity bench". She can put stuff in it like tennis balls and her heart rate monitor. I drove Mrs to Southtown Center where she shopped at Kohl's, Herbergers and some other women's clothes store. After a quick stop at the Richfield Menards for lights we stopped at Ma's place where Ma was in the throws of a conspiracy theory. She asked for some cash so I drove her to the mall for some panhandling action. See how this works boy. I put up a little somethin' somethin' for the late shift. That way they don't feel left out.

What a loving mommy

Every dog does one thing that is unique to them. That's what you always remember. Sadie was nuts about that tennis ball, Wu sat with her head firmly pressed against your leg at meal times and Snowy looks out the window.

Mrs wants Snowy to be able to look out the window with less strain on her back legs so this vanity from Bed, Bath and Beyond must be purchased today. I'm the wheel man against the waves of angry soccer moms, stay-at-home-moms and various other assorted goofs out there today. Let the trail of carcasses start in South Minneapolis and end at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Lock and load, girls.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Zero Hour Approaches

Mrs says Thanksgiving is one of those days you should be pressured to go somewhere. We've gone to the Plumber's brother's house for a number of years. Last year we rode the Dragger out to Hopkins because the car was messed up. The Plumber has worked the phone lines for a ride so it's out to Richfield first to pick him up. No Dragger this year. Enjoy your dysfunctional family gathering.

After you've eaten use my Uncle's line - 'The next course will be intercourse'.

Happy Thanksgiving

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Must be Santa

I accompanied Mrs to the Macy's 8th floor extravaganza which is the Nutcracker this year. Be sure to take your kids there Friday afternoon and no bitchin' allowed if the wait is over an hour. Mrs and I had no wait at all and she passed on the whole Santa's lap thing. I passed on the $4 frosted cookie so we have money to pay the mortgage. It was a nice way to balance out the tour of North Minneapolis this morning. Kinda like going to the Ice Capades at Chicago Stadium and then catching a cab on Madison Street. It was ok. I was with Ma. She once beat a mugger off with her dry cleaning.

Give it a try

Thanksgiving is tomorrow which means family gatherings which means a meal together. Ugh. If your son or daughter brings some type of human home for dinner and it's the first time you've met them...resist the temptation to ask an uncomfortable question. Girls, some of you specialize in this but dad, you can be a horse's ass too. You can always bail out with, 'I'll get the pie'. God, do I hate answering fucking bicycling questions from non-cycling people.

Chamber Of Commerce Photos

I hadn't been to North Minneapolis for a while so this morning was as good a time as any. It's weird. Boarded up houses down the block from big home improvement projects. Empty stores and new stores being built. Desolate. No problem stopping in the middle of the street to take a picture. Cold stares, no problem, always make eye contact.

I love the city.

Morning sunshine

The last set of pictures from State Cx is showing on a 24 hour loop on the sidebar in the SLIDESHOW. See it? Can't find it? Lean against the screen and I be right back with my tennis racket.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Career ending injury

I rode my bike to Butler Square and took part in the Bike Throw podcast. It's a technically proficient production and never lacking for content. You may not believe this but I still have more of Mrs photos from State cross to post.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Last communique from the mountain for Monday

102 more pictures from the State Cross Tourney can be found here. Any roadie unhappy with their photo will be forced to watch The English Patient.

Time for a coffee run

Soon, I'm going to ride a bike aimlessly through the streets which is the best way to do it. Chances are I won't make it past HC or Freewheel depending on the direction I leave the garage from. More pictures have been posted. If you think you've seen the same picture haven't, it's just a deja vu in the matrix. Truthfully, your entire life is also occurring on a parallel planet thousands of light years from here. I know, pretty heavy shit.

Planning for a hostile takeover

Snowy and I are home chillin', listening to music and...well, we're downloading a U Tuber with more info. In the meantime, look at some pictures. More to come. Don't work too hard. Rosenberg, e-mail is . I don't worry about getting a bunch of e-mails because they're afraid for me to have their e-mail address. There's a scene from a James Caan movie (Thief) where he blows up the bar he owns and his house because the mob is closing in. The end of the movie is him walking away. That's what e-mail addresses and cell phone numbers are to me.

Thanksgiving Week '07 - Monday

I wonder if Macy's has the Christmas dealybob going on the 7th floor?

Sunday, November 18, 2007