Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Pilot To Co-Pilot

Mrs showed me this notice this morning. They're closing the runway so some guy with a bucket of tar can put a fresh coat on. She said it came in the mail yesterday and the meeting in our neighborhood was scheduled for last night. Of course the notice could've been in the mailbox for a week and she didn't see it. When you're 4'11" everything seems too high. Back to the runway closing...seems like I'll need to turn up the stereo. Don't need to close the windows cuz once the air goes on, it doesn't go off until Thanksgiving.
Kevin Garnett's going to Boston? Good for him. He'll do well there.
When I retire I can't wait to putter around the house.
I'm completely in the tree marking groove and am happy to give them something to talk about on National Night Out. Should I stay late on National Night Out and mark trees and break bread with them at their parties?

Monday, July 30, 2007

Drag Me

Old Grain Belt Brewery
Josh busting his ass at Behind Bars.

Plymouth and Penn, North Minneapolis. I get tired of riding the same routes. No sign of my favorite fireman.

The boys in blue doing their job and probably discussing where to eat lunch.
I'll have some yogurt, a latte and the Spam, artichoke and spinach omelet.
Queen of the mountains relaxing after hauling my big butt up some major climbs and returning fire in North Minneapolis.
Downtown taken from the cyclist's ghetto, Stevens Square.

I bought a Kid Rock and Junior Wells Live At Theresa's. 'Start an escort service for all the right reasons and set up shop on the top of Four Seasons'.
Greenway. Mrs suggested we set up a time trial on the Greenway.
Boy, I just love a nicely manicured lawn.
Stopped at Karl's house. This isn't Karl's room. A real man wears a shirt till the armpits stink.

Gun rack on the front of a bike. It used to belong to a cop.
Mrs and I love stopping at Karl's. All bike projects all the time.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Sunday Dragger Day

Mrs is grocery shopping so I stopped at Melo-Glaze for a donut and do a quick post. I need to get back to the grocery store so my interests are met. Debbie is an awesome shopper...she never forgets the Ready Whip or M & M's.

Big time Dragger ride after groceries are put away. We'll be stopping at Behind Bars to see Josh and check out Chuck's selection of Twin 6 stuff.

Rode to Saint Paul yesterday to watch Carl's (part timer from work) baseball game at Dunning Field on the Concordia campus. Carl was brought in to pitch and did a really good job. Thank God it's Ermisch.

Still need to get to Sexworld for Bolstad's porn and call his old girlfriends to get their addresses. He's playing the returning war hero game here and if he comes home in one piece from Iraq who can blame him.

Everyone has a dog for you when they know you're looking for one. This isn't like buying a f-ing toaster. This is going to be an integral part of the family.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Here You Go, Julie

Since the Tour De France is mostly dopers anyway, Mistress Julie has announced her plans to do the Tour De France next year. She'll be needing a support crew and I had mentioned I'd like to apply on Skibby's blog. Here we go:

Height: 6' 2"

Weight: 220ish although I had sweets 3 different times today and go through aerosol whip cream by the case.

College: Degree in Finance from the University of Central Missouri or whatever they're calling it this week. GPA of 3.97/4.00.

Last book I read: Cat In The Hat

Number of bikes: 5 with a junker in the garage awaiting ambition.

Current occupation: Forestry Inspector and Police Department negotiator.

Previous occupations: Florist, pilot, concierge, assistant to Oprah, assistant to Ellen, CIA agent (The Bourne movies are patterned after my CIA career) and door man at several topless joints.

Additional information: I make a decent breakfast and a not too bad instant pudding. I don't sleep outside and only eat outside when it's the only option. According to Mrs I have strong warm hands. Was mother's favorite son and mother-in-law's least favorite son-in-law. Met wife when I had my knee operated on...she was my nurse's aide and it took me 9 days to get up the nerve to ask her for her phone number. I'm the HR Department's nightmare and the reason my boss is as bald as he is.

Well Julie, I hope that covers everything. I'm always available for a personal interview. Thanks for being such a good sport.

Friday, July 27, 2007

We Always Enjoy A Nutricious Breakfast At Our House

Black Dog Photos For Mrs

At least I didn't go off the road at the turn like someone I know.

I stand up to get my mojo working again. Probably not proper technique.
At this point of the race you've got about a 1/2 mile? to go and you're just dreaming of that finish line. Not a very aero position but at this point I'm just happy to still be grinding it out. Thanks for the picture I borrowed, Steven. Photos at the turn courtesy of Sickboy who was volunteering.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Here Benita, Now You're Famous

File photo taken by the fabulous Mrs from a couple of Dogs back. While warming up on their Dragger some kids (f-ing punks) drove by really close to Benita and gave her a good whack on the ass. Yes, Benita the little punk probably broke his hand. This is it for you, Benita. Your name and picture will never be brought up again unless I get a photo of me knocking you on your ass when cyclocross starts. XOXO - Ray

Is This Your Dog? Is This Your Hand?

Here's the picture I received via my cell phone at 1:45 am. Now, I could just call the number which I might do every 15 minutes for the next, let's say 20 years or you could come forward and identify yourself. I'm definitely not pissed. I was the guy who called every person in the phonebook of his cell phone at 1 am, let it ring twice and then placed the phone on the coffee table and finished my nightcap. I never answered the phone if you called back. Hey all you artsy smartsies, what's up with this photo? Is he trying to form something with the dog's ear? He he. Well buddy, if you took this picture and sent it right away then you need to stop fuckin' with the dog at that hour. Do something constructive like pouring yourself a drink or drunk dialing your contact list.


Wonderful hot and humid night at the Dog. Have 'em open your knee a couple of times with the cordless drill and you'll know what I mean. Since all you bitches ever care about is results...I rode a 19:01 which was 57 seconds faster than 2 weeks ago and 6 seconds faster than my old personal record. Jordan came in at 18:36 and Kristie rode a 19:22. Forty-six seconds separated three completely different people which is what makes our friendly rivalry so much fun. Cat 6 homies Drew (16:02) and The Poofter (18:27) also did the race.

Doing Black Dog is pretty simple. Find a speed you're fairly comfortable with and then try and hold that for 7 miles. I tried to hold 21 mph going out into the headwind and 22 coming back with about a half mile of 23 just to really torture myself. What I really like is that for 19 minutes every other week, my mind is totally consumed by something other than work or anything else.

Thanks to Drew for his pointers on aero position. Thanks to Jim and Mark for getting the bike ready. Yee ha to Hollywood for the good deal on the shorts and finally thanks to the little girl with the Kool Aid stand at 42nd and 19th. That grape Kool Aid put me over the hump.

Now. Who sent me the picture message at 1:45 am? I'm posting the picture later for interpretation. I replied with a simple text message at 5:26 am. It just said Good Morning. Lets see...1:45 am to 5:26 is like 3 hours and 41 minutes and even less if you're drunk when you go to sleep. Sleep quick as they say.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

He Better Hope God Isn't A Pit Bull

Tour De What? It's Black Dog Day, Baby(boy)!!

I'll try as hard as I can to improve from my 19:58 two weeks ago. Jordan will be faster than last time out because his dad's back from hill riding and Chianti sipping in France. Carla, you should come out too. As for Kristie, hmmm, I think she's gonna hit us hard tonight.

Jim (HC) fixed my flat and Mark installed my new ass hatchet (seat) and a new chain on orange. Front chain ring was pretty wore out cuz I never use those other two rings so Jim sold me an Ultegra crank set for a really, really good price. It probably won't make me any faster. I don't go to the Dog to set any records. I go for the camaraderie.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Anybody Got A Spare Pair Of Socks?

I forgot my socks this morning and had to color in a tube top on my tattoo. My biking socks just about cover the tattoo except...

I Don't Need My Name In The Marquee Lights...

Flat tire on race bike about a mile from home this morning. No, I don't carry tubes. No, I don't break nails trying to fix flats. No, I don't sleep outside. If I'm too far from the house to walk the bike I'll call a cab or the CIA or someone. I bet I could call one of the guys I've picked up at detox or given a ride home when they were too drunk to stand. Back to the tire...better get that baby in to Banana Bunker Central after work.

Worked till 6:30 last night marking trees and spreading my charm. I hate when I get to your house and some weenie installing doors while you're at work feels the need to give me his diagnosis of the tree. Right before I came in I marked a boulevard tree at 72nd and Oakland. The homeowner had called a couple times so I wanted to get this guy off my ass. He was probably in his late 70's and right before I left he started with religious stuff. 'Do you accept Jesus Christ as your savior'? So I'm thinking, Jeez buddy, I was baptized once almost 50 years ago and I've got shitloads of elm trees to mark and it's pea soup humid and stuff like that. When he asked if I was ready to be saved I just told him 'not right now', got in the car and drove across the street to mark his neighbor's tree.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Get Me A List Of Everyone Who's Seen The Sound Of Music More Than Once!

These are the new biking shoes of the Queen of The Mountains, the wheel man in the Luftansa Heist, the author of Stealing Cable For Dummies and a damn nice girl. Go ahead doll, flop over when you can't clip out on the Dragger. I'll go down with the ship.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

We Got Some Groceries...Some Peanut Butter...

Hate to tell you guys this but your wife know where your Playboy stash is. Just sayin'. Back to work for more of my computer project. I e-mailed my boss when I came in yesterday. Here's an excerpt - 'Yeah, I came in on Saturday to work on your GD assessment letters just like I came in on Memorial Day to work on your GD grant reimbursement shit'. The rest of my e-mail to him has too much foul language for this family oriented blog. Glad almost no one reads this thing on the weekends.

Hmmmmmmmm, Sausage!

Rode the Dragger to the Farmer's Market on a big time sausage run.
Hit me, I'm open.

The owner Mr Tollefson explaining to blondie how the pigs are organically fed, bathed, what kind of music he plays for them and shit like that. She asked 337 questions and then walked away without buyin' nuthin.

Sausage inspector gave her seal of approval.

Picture taken from Dragger near the falls.
Mrs just loves when these people hog the middle of the trail and stop to pick up one of the kid's shoes.
Ma and Pa Kettle sufferin' at the summit of the famed Lake Street climb.
Road construction and winter are the only seasons we have in Minnesota.
"Jeez, I'd love to pull these knuckleheads over to those flowers so I can gorge myself on day lillies". A horse is a horse, of course, of course...

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Just A Laugh A Minute

Blogging a little breaks up the monotony of this endless paperwork project. Shit yeah, it's Saturday and I'm at work.
Well, if I can find someone's peanut butter stash I'll hit those crackers. Who the hell puts crackers in the fridge anyway?

Nice Backpack, Punk

Tour De France race report: Vino kicked ass. Kloden fell down and still beat a bunch of guys. Leipheimer rode my Rollo and did quite well. Hincappie was, well, Hincappie. Rasmussen tried not to duplicate the time trial of 2005 when he fell down 27 times and incidentally, no dogs destroyed any carbon wheels.

Thanks for the e-mails yesterday. Gosh, you kids are fun.

Hiawatha Ride this morning had its usual blend of cycling and pastries. The Bohemian Something Or Other Pastry Shop not far from the Ohio Street hill you roadies love to torture yourselves on. Good pastries cheap make Homer happy.

While riding the clown bike no-handed yesterday I had some old duffer tell me to put my hands back on the handlebars. I told him, 'no, I don't have to'. So there.

Friday, July 20, 2007

How much for the women?

Worked a little late yesterday to catch up on a thrilling paperwork project with some etched in concrete due dates. Paperwork and due date aren't words I like. Mrs took over the bill paying at my house about 2 years ago and does a way better job than I ever did. How much money is in our checking account? Beats the shit out of me. My job is to spend money, make laundry and escort little Miss to work.

Sitting at your desk not doing nuthin? Or sitting at your desk e-mailing someone about last night's track racing? That can't be fun. E-mail me at wroblewski58@yahoo.com. Wait, if you're from Minnesota then you're still in contact with people you went to high school with in 1920. Y'all took that don't talk to strangers stuff to heart. I love talking to Minnesotans who don't want to talk to strangers. I give everyone my cell phone number cuz I don't care. If I get too many calls from goofballs I'll just throw the fucker in the river and start over with a new carrier.

Tuffy called last night wondering why I wasn't at the track. Didn't want to fight that traffic and just wanted a break from the routine. I appreciated Tuffy's concern.

Where the hell is Newport? Snowy's potential brother is out there being fostered. Will I need to pack a lunch or change money?

Stop bellyaching about how fat you are and get that bike down from the garage rafters and ride it somewhere. I get to eat a lot of donuts, pizza and hash browns because I ride a bike around the block. You can do it.

If you live in Minnesota, say hi to a stranger today. Unless it's me.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Bob Got His Moped Running Again

No cat herding in Blaine for me tonight. Fighting rainstorm rush hour traffic on the way home from Ma's doctor's office in Golden Valley was enough for me. Her doctor knows what I'm going through seeing my mother's decline. Some of you have gone through this with a parent. Some of you like Debbie and I are going through this right now. Still others of you will go through this in the future. Not being able to have a conversation with her is the hardest part. I can still make her smile which means the world to me. Hey girls, the rebellious alcoholic with the tattoos of topless women may be your rock to lean on when you're 83.

Hiawatha Cyclery Team Car

Yep Monte, finally stopped on the way to work and took a picture of it. Loaded with Twinkies, Melo-Glaze donuts, beer, sliders, banana bunkers and Dr Pepper our team car is state-of-the-art. Oh, we carry a single band-aid in our first aid kit.

Rode a different way to work and saw a roadie-ish commuter girl go down next to the curb by Fat Lorenzo's. I stopped. Told her not to be embarrassed and suggested the sidewalk for the portion between 58 Club and Fats. She said she usually rides the sidewalk there, smiled and gave me a pat on the ass. I gave her a sticker and went on my way.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Welcome To The Commuter Ranks

Big Buck has ridden his Bridgestone Kabuki the last 2 days. We now have 3 commuters at the Public Works Garage. The resemblance between Big Buck and Larry the Cable Guy is uncanny. I'll see if I can't get a picture some time this week.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Dear Debbie, I Need A Set Of These

Would love to do Black Dog on my cross bike frame with the flat bar, bell and license plate...and these wheels. Those poor roadies would be eating their hearts out.