Where's My 9 MM When I Really Need It?

Debra has had quite the week of highs and lows. She found a calendar holder that she was looking for and had to babysit two sick dogs instead of renting a bike. She has found many shopping treasures at her favorite stores. Her favorite Christmas store now sells landscape stuff so there goes one in the loss column. But she'll always have that Christmas tree angel that Snowy dug out of the box and partially chewed up. Yesterday, at one of her favorite thrift stores in Eagle River she had some guy almost wrestle her for a pair of boots that he wasn't sure would even fit his wife. The guy's lucky her 9 mm is in her backpack back in Minneapolis.

Good news. I've learned through the Cat 6 message board that a coaster brake hub was found last weekend for my new Surly.

Meeting Big Daddy and Cindy in Boulder Junction at 1 pm today. I want to take some pictures on the way there. I'll post them next week but they won't do justice to what you see with your eyes. It's so beautiful here and has been awesome to have a bike to ride even if the bike is heavy and the chain slips when you try to give it a little extra oomph.

You Better Buy Some Resolve

Mrs wasn't able to rent her pink Next yesterday because her four-legged children were ill'n from their raw hamburger experience. Let's just leave it at that. I rode my rental bomb 25 miles yesterday and 23 miles this morning before the rains came. I think that bike is starting to make my shitty knees sore. Oh well, at least I've got something to ride.

Note to Carol Wroblewski: I bought you a really nice t-shirt. Now the problem will be getting it in the mail. You know better than anyone what a procrastinator I am. On the bright side, I'll probably see you in February.

Big Daddy and Cindy have arrived. I am now filling the role of chauffeur for the group. I think we're headed to Eagle River today so Debbie can go to her thrift store. I won't be going around the corner for Jack Daniels on the rocks while she shops. Thanks to the CD program at Fairview Hospital, I be rehabilitated.

Later

Next Time Buy The Ground Sirloin

Dogs are opportunists especially when it comes to food. Two pounds of raw hamburger that were left on the countertop at the cabin were enjoyed by Maggie and Snow while we were out yesterday. Maggie has the constitution of a goat. She's eaten enough dead vile crap off the street to prove that theory correct. She's a purebred, field champion blooded garbage can. Snowy on the other hand has a much more delicate stomach.

Time limit of thirty minutes is running even though it's me, Debbie (currently reading the Golf Magazine issue from June '95) and one other woman. Going to Minoqua today to buy a couple of presents and so Debbie can stop at her favorite Christmas store. The store is going out of business and everything is 50% off. She'll hit the place with the precision of a Navy seal. She'll use judo chops to fend off other women grabbing at items she wants. After shopping we're going to ride bikes. She'll rent a pink Next to ride the trails. She says Next means that next time I'll bring my own bike.

Had a really good fire in the cabin fire pit last night. Not as good as the ones my friend Link makes back home but pretty good anyway. Link makes fires that are visible to infrared satellite images of the Earth.

Big Daddy and Cindy arrive this evening. It will be fun to hang out with them and their arrival will be welcomed by bartenders in the Northwoods.

Later

Greetings From Wisconsin

Posting from the Plum Lake Library in Sayner, Wisconsin. Population of about 100. There are four bars in town so the locals won't go thirsty. Rented a bike at Z-Best Bike in Minoqua. It's a Next and says that it's aluminum on it, but must be the heaviest aluminum on the planet. Could've gotten a better bike at the other bike shop in town, but the owner of Z-Best is one of the more interesting characters you'll ever meet. He has the bike shop all summer and then heads off to Florida to photograph models. His name is John and he doesn't have too high an opinion of fashion models or people who ride bicycles and motorcycles without a helmet. He says fashion models have no concept of reality and non-helmet wearers as dummies who thin out the species. Something about Darwin.

I rode my Next about 20 miles this morning on the new paved trail. The scenery is unbelievable and I'll post pictures when I get back home. I'm carrying the camera in my bag when I ride so I can get shots of the goofy shit that only I find interesting.

Well, Debra is reading a Nun's Life from 1987 and there's a time limit on the computer. The librarian is giving me the evil eye and reminding me that my time is almost up.

Bring Back Ma's Hard-boiled Eggs

Me and Ma at her apartment. I'm one of the only people on the planet that can still make her laugh. I brought her the $25 she needed. I turned down Cheerios and a really crappy looking pastry.

Ma's refridgerator. Pretty sparse. According to Ma, eggs were stolen by THE BASTARDS. There ought to be a law against that kind of thing.

Errand running ran like a Swiss watch. We even had time for Debbie to stop at Michael's for some crafty type of shit. I waited out in the car. The store closed at 9 and women were still running in there at 8:55 to get craft items that just couldn't wait till tomorrow. I used to be that way with liquor stores.

One hour and about thirteen minutes to freedom. Then it's on to northern Wisconsin for a week of eating, walking and biking. Bar owners will be sad to find out that I'm now sober. I'll still stop in my old spots because some of the owners are way cool. I'll just have a pizza and a grape Nehi. Weather at this time of the year can be anything. I've swam when it was 85 and rode my bike after a snow. You need to take sunscreen and your long johns.

Congrats to the fabulous Debra who will have ridden 2000 miles this year by the time she gets home today. A full celebration will take place in Wisconsin next week. 3000 will be very special to you dear because you'll have ridden in some pretty shitty weather to make it. No worries. Just get longer socks to go with those swanky knickers you wore this morning. Can I interest you in a pair of dress sock armwarmers?

Countdown To Vacation

The ride last night to treatment was really cool because of the thunderstorm that was about to happen. The skies looked cool because of the lightning in the distance. I tried to take a couple of pictures but they came out real shitty. Where's that damn owner's manual for the camera? It started raining right after I locked up my bike at the hospital. After our group meeting I went outside to leave and it was really pouring. I unlocked my bike and got my bag in order before leaving. In the couple of minutes it took me to saddle up, it had stopped raining completely. I rode down Riverside to Cedar and followed Cedar to Washington and in to downtown. It seemed like there was lightning in every direction. I rode down 1st Avenue to 8th and took 8th to Portland. As I got home and fished for my keys it started pouring again. Nice to have all that rain and miss it for a change.

Last week our treatment group kind of pissed off our counselor William because nobody wanted to talk. He told us that one of us would have to lead the group next week. He asked for a volunteer to lead the group. I volunteered. So last night I was actually substitute counselor. We were to talk about what we wanted to get out of our treatment program. I was able to get everyone to open up including one kid who's really quiet. Oh yeah. What do I want to get out of treatment? Never to drink again and learn ways to combat the situational cravings that come.

Errand running for vacation stuff tonight which will include a stop at Ma's. She needs $25. She only needed $15 last week. So we'll head over there after dinner and I'll stay till I'm sweating profusely. I'll also turn down hard-boiled eggs and Ensure. Ma has quite the collection of eggs. She grew up during the Depression and has a hard time wasting food. I can see that. She's told me lots of stories about growing up during the Depression.

This bike is cool. I wish I could get one for Debbie.

I loved all the comments about my babysitting of Ella. It was sure fun even when she started crying. I wouldn't of enjoyed something like this or seeing my great-niece Aimee for the first time when I was drinking. I didn't give a shit about a lot of things. We all agreed last night at treatment that we're able to enjoy the simple pleasures of life since we stopped abusing alcohol and drugs. Like babies and lightning off in the distance.

Look Ella, A Pink Bear

I was babysitter for Ella last night. My first babysitting job since my nephews were babies. Kris was going to a child's toy party at her next door neighbor's, so mommy wouldn't be far away if I needed to call her. I was given instructions on how to prepare a bottle and how to get all the bells and whistles going on the mobile attached to Ella's crib. Ella was not to be taken to a tattoo parlor. That was made very clear. Under the blankets and stuff in the above picture is Ella. Sleeping.
So, I ask Kris if the contents of the refridgerator are fair game. She says yes, with a slight hesitation. Upon cross examination Kris divulges that the fridge hold pastries. Yummy. I promise not to eat her pastries. She heads to the party. I go back and forth looking for something decent to watch on tv while Ella sleeps. Off to the fridge to examine the pastries that I promised not to eat. I come back with a glass of chocolate milk on the rocks. 40 minutes later Ella wakes up. At first I just try to talk to her. Maybe she'll just go back to sleep. No dice. Lets move her to the crib and turn on the mobile extravaganza. Not amused. I whip into the kitchen to prepare the bottle. How much water? How many scoops of powdered formula? I run the water on my arm, mix everything up and head back to Ella. She drinks her bottle for a little bit and spits out the nipple. Not hungry, huh dear. I pick her up and walk with her singing softly the words to Loser by Beck. That doesn't help. We go out on the deck where she is amused for a little while. A really short while, mind you. Where the hell is my collection of state quarters when I need it. I'm sure she would've been amazed by that. More walking, more time with the mobile. Still not amused. Time to call the bullpen. Our starting pitcher is getting shelled. Mommy returns and Ella is very happy to see her. Me too.
Ella, content in her crib with one of my bandanas as a blanket. Aah, reduced to a puddle of sweat by a 15 pound (I didn't weigh her) brunette. I can't wait to do it again. Next time I'll be prepared with a slide presentation of my trip to Akron, Ohio.

Did You Just Cut The Toes Out Of Your Dress Socks?

My collection of bike socks. My favorite is the Your Bike Sucks ones.
Mrs bike sock collection. I love the one with the donut on them. When she wears the polka dot ones with her polka dot Queen of the Mountains jersey she's smoking hot. Bottom row left is of a plumber's crack.

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery. I made myself a pair of dress sock arm warmers last night after I saw a pair hereNT made himself. I think I still have another pair of dress socks. I think I need a couple pair of these babies. I can afford bike shop arm warmers but I like the whole idea of these. I used them this morning and they worked great.

My arrival at work this morning put me at 5000 miles for the year which two months and ten days sooner than I reached that total last year. With 102 days left in this year I only need to average 19.6 miles a day. Shouldn't be a problem.

Leftovers

The rain gods spared me for the most part this morning. When I walked Snow this morning it was raining quite heavily but had stopped about the time we left for work. Since I dressed for rain in my makeshift rain gear I just got wet from sweating without the cooling effect of rain. I was smart enough to bring clothes to ride home in.

I found another way in to downtown Saint Paul on the tandem yesterday which I'll have to point the Saturday Night Ride towards some time. We took this route for most of the way Saturday before turning off to go across the 35E bike bridge. The ride was pretty good because it had all the elements - fast pace, fire, track stand competition, some new blood and a couple of decent hills. I need to go on that ride more often.

Will be renting a bike when I go on vacation next week. The bike shops in Northern Wisconsin rent mainly comfort bikes which is ok. They're just harder to ride longer distances. Maybe I'll be able to find a place that will rent me a mountain bike so I can ride the trails that are close to the cabin we rent. I can see it now. Me bringing their rental mtn bike back after a week of hard riding. In three different pieces. I'd take one of my bikes but I could envision the bike flying off the bike carrier and cascading across the pavement.

Mother needs $15 for something. She didn't need it last Wednesday when Debbie took the two boxes of Cheerios that I hauled back from Chicago. She had told my brother that she can't get Cheerios in Minnesota. She now has enough Cheerios to last her about five years. I'll probably get some of them from her for Christmas. I wish she had a computer to read my blog. She might like it, except for any foul language.

Ella, You're Getting Sleeeepy

Ella is still worn out after the Jackal Sale. She was moved into the shade after her photo was taken.

Good Bye To Red Trek

This is my Trek 7500. I've ridden it almost 9000 miles through rain, snow and everything in between. I rode it home from Freewheel yesterday for the last time in my life. My man Josh did quite the makeover on it Saturday afternoon. New wheels, drivetrain, cranks, bottom bracket and new brake pads. I'm giving to my friend Kris who is actually the only other person to ride it farther than test rides. It looks really good with all the new parts on it.

Saturday Night Ride

For a strenuos ride of this nature one needs to warm up. The warm-up for the ride is done with beer and cigarettes. The guy with the spandex shorts is Eric. We don't get loads of spandex wearers on the ride.
Track stand competition at the first beer stop. Can't remember who won. Will need to check Sportscenter tonight for coverage.
Ride included a fire. The guy in the white t-shirt is Andy. He was a first-timer. He had some interesting viewpoints on a variety of issues. We didn't have a shovel to bury his body. Just kidding. Lighten up Francis.
This is back in Dinkytown at the rally point. My Surly is against that yellow pillar. All told we rode 35 miles and I got home at about 4 am. I was actually a little worn out after the mileage with the group and 45 miles by myself earlier in the day. Not to worry. I slept from 5 to 7 and then headed out with Debbie on the Dragger. Breakfast helped immensely. Rode 135 miles from Friday through Sunday. Oh what fun we have on our bike. Sleep is extremely over-rated.

A Whole Ice Arena Of Crap

I think I have the matching trousers that go with this lovely piece of furniture. If any of you actually have one that looks like this I sincerely apologize.
Ella has the right idea. There's nothing like a decent meal to take your mind off hundreds of women foraging through tons of crap. She went to sleep shortly after this feeding. I should've gone to sleep on that hideous loveseat.
I think you could of had the whole rack of these fine jewlry items for about two bucks.
Where kids bikes end up. I sure hope none of my bikes are ever sold here.
The blonde is my wife Debra. She wrestled that woman for that shirt and won.

Once again, if I can buy something at a place like this for a dollar or pay fifty bucks at Marshall Fields, then I'll buy it at Fields. I still like going to the Jackal Sale just to watch the hand-to-hand combat.

Lakes, Skyscrapers, Strippers And The Choo Choo

This guy needed directions from the dome to Target Center. His name is Jesse and he's in town working at Cirque du soleil. I picked up his bike which is a Hummer folding mountain bike. It weighed a ton and will cause me to have hernia surgery in the morning
How about a picture of the worst baseball stadium in the major leagues. I grew up going to Wrigley Field. The Metrodome ain't Wrigley Field
Taken from the alley across the street from Shiek's. That guy just happened to be walking through my shot. Bastard! The girls are out on the veranda enjoying a quick smoke before the business of shaking their booty for money starts. Why yes, I've been there. Just to hear the great sound system.
A light rail vehicle at the Warehouse District Station. This was Jesse Ventura's baby. Built at a cost of about $800 million and every dollar worth it, in my estimation. I can take it from my house to the airport and not have to deal with some cabby that needs directions to find the airport. Right next to this station is Dream Girls. Been to Dream Girls too.
Skyline shot taken from Lake Harriet. Masts of sailboats at bottom of picture.
Lake Harriet bandshell. Will remember taking this picture when I'm riding around the lake in January with a shitload of clothes on.
Skyline from Cedar Lake Trail. I love big buildings. We grow 'em a little bigger in Chicago. Just up the trail from where I took the picture were a group of fellas enjoying happy hour by the railroad tracks. That Night Train's a mean wine.

Just a glimpse of Minneapolis, my adopted hometown. Chicago will always be home, but I guess since I've lived here over 20 years, I must like it here.

Arena Sale at Minnehaha Academy tomorrow. Hundreds of women fighting over old sweaters. I call it the Jackal Sale. I get a picture of anything that resembles a felony.

A Post For Bike Geeks And You Know Who You Are

Had to post yet another picture of my Salsa which was taken if front our spaceous offices.

I had Tyler write down the details of the componentry which will create my new bike:

Surly Crosscheck 60 cm frame - blood red
Nitto moustache bar
Race Face Deus 90 mm stem
Chris King silver headset
Sun CR 18 high polished rims
Primo 175 mm high polished cranks
Primo 44 tooth chain ring with 17 tooth cog
Diamondback Bigfoot bmx pedals
KMC heavy duty chain
Conti Contact 700 x 2.8 tires
Brooks saddle
Honjo fenders - couldn't get the link to work. Believe me, they're cool

We still have some issues with the coaster brake and he's looking for the right seatpost but it's great to have 90% of the goodies picked out.

I marked a tree this afternoon and the woman started crying right on the spot. It was a beautiful elm tree. Now, it's dying. I stopped marking private trees after that. I need to ride my Salsa very fast and take some pictures. That should help.

The Day In Pictures

This poor puppy was hit by a car on Nicollet Avenue where the speed limit is 35 mph but not observed too often. I got the story from her owner. Puppy doesn't like the cast too much.
A 55 inch diameter tree marked this afternoon. It's a monster. Our contractor will remove it for a mere $2000. No homeowner to argue with because they weren't home at the time.
A doubleheader! $3700 worth. One of the trees is on the lot line, so each homeowner gets to share in the joy. Neither homeowner was home at the time I marked the trees. No one to argue with. There is a god.
My official city vehicle. I got it after the cops beat on it for two years. Kids wave to me because they think I'm in a cop car. I've had this thing on the highway and it's got some snort.

John from North Star Tree Care. He and his partner Nathan are really nice guys. They do a lot of work in town and everyone loves the job they do. This is the new company mini-van. John used to drive a huge pick-up truck. I recommended that the name of the company be changed to Soccer Mom Tree Care. John keeps me supplied with Jolly Ranchers all summer. My dentist thanks him.

So you can see that I'm still loving the pee pee out of my new camera. Tonight I ride to treatment. Maybe some photo opportunities will present themselves on the ride home.

Nature Is Beautiful

Snapped a picture of Minnehaha Falls on the way home last night. I'd passed by the falls many times but never had a decent camera with me. The other two pictures highlight Debbie's dining room set. Notice the swanky pattern on the chairs. I guess my tattoos are in there too. The ink on my right leg draws quite a few looks. Some women hate them. They hate them even more when I tell them my wife picked both of them out. Debbie sees them as cartoonish and whimsical. The women who like them, like them because they're so colorful. I'd have more tattoos but it's a money thing. When I stop at kid's lemonade stands in the summer I always try to keep my legs moving so they can't zero in on the boobies. Hell, my own mother likes them. Do I love women. Yeah, every shape and color. Who'd of thought that a little ink under my skin could occasionally be so controversial.

Just called Tyler at Freewheel. After two weeks of admiring my new frame I'm bringing it in tonight to pick out the nuts and bolts to actually build a bike. I'll have him write the componentry down for me so I can talk about it in tomorrow's post. Last time I built a bike at Freewheel, Tyler and I picked the goodies out on a Tueday and I rode my new bike home on Friday. I'd like to ride it some before I go to Wisconsin on the 24th.

Raymond, Get The F*** Out Of Here With That Camera

This is Tom. He and I are the last two people to leave for the day. Tommy is my hero. He's like 33 years old, has a Master's Degree in history and as I put it, has never had a real job. He works here part-time when he's not being a Civil War recreator at Fort Snelling. He's really smart and can not be stumped when it comes to history, religion or coins. He reads my page occasionally and would read it more if the damn thing didn't have so much to do with bikes. Sorry Tom, it's Lunatic Biker, not Lunatic Coin Collector. I love my new digital camera, but it's only a matter of time before somebody takes it away from me and beats me to death with it.

I Mowed The Lawn, Therefore I Am

Without much fanfare I mowed the lawn Sunday afternoon during halftime of the football games. The actual event was documented by the Mrs with our new digital camera. After mowing I jumped on my Crosscheck to ride around the neighborhood a couple of times to get the bad taste of lawn maintenance out of my system. The kids on the next block had a ramp set up for their skateboards and gave me the green light for a jump as long as I promised I wouldn't hurt myself. I smiled and declined their offer. I could envision the ramp collapsing until my beef and having to answer to one of their parents for my act of stupidity.

We also have two picture of Debbie in her bike clothes. Top is of her in her new Pearl Izumi biking/bowling jersey that Mark at Freewheel finally talked her in to buying. He has tried all summer to sell her that particular item. I think the 20% off and his incredible sales skills were too much for her. Shorts are new too. Those are Nike biking shorts. Bottom picture is her respectfully flying the colors of Cat 6. The Cat 6 guys had a good year and broadened their fan base. Maybe I'll get a Cat 6 jersey next year.

Aforementioned digital camera is a Kodak with 10x zoom and 5 megapixels. The fact that I was able to take a picture and post it here is no small miracle when you take in to account that I'm so clueless when it comes to technology. Hell, I'm still shocked that I have a blog at all.

Was able to ride 73 miles this weekend which included a rather long stop at Freewheel for bike maintenance on my Salsa and Deb's Surly. Patrick rebuilt the hub on the back wheel and trued it. I got new back brake pads, chain and cassette. Debra got a new chain and swanky bmx pedals. Patrick wasn't sure if the jump I took last week contributed to the back wheel problem. He was impressed by an older fella's ability to show off. Through a great deal of conversation with Freewheel employees and other bike geeks I'm finally starting to narrow down the building of my new bike. Still a little unsure of how big a gear I want the single-speed to be. Aah, so much to decide.

Can Aimee Take The Bus to See Me?

Why Bike Shops Love Guys Like Me

1. Guys my size and larger destroy bike parts. I killed three wheels on Red Trek before Patrick at Freewheel built one that I couldn't kill. I was over 300 pounds at the time and probably put a strain on most bike parts. Not to mention my heart. I thought of this post when the back wheel on my Salsa started wobbling on the way to work today. I don't think a guy my size is supposed to be airborne, which is probably why the spokes are loose.

2. One bike just isn't good enough. I'm always seeing another bike or frame that I need to have. Sure, you can only ride one bike at a time. That's cool if you ride four times a year. But I ride every day. That, and I've got a small mortgage payment and no children.

3. You never have enough bike clothes. Even though you'll never see my big butt wearing spandex, I still like buying certain clothing items at bike shops, like socks. I'll buy Debra spandex jerseys because she looks so good in them. How's that for kissing ass?

4. I love bike accessories. Now, I'm not as bad as my brother John, but I'm good for a bell, computer, water bottle cage and fenders on every bike I buy. I don't have a cell phone holder and when I ride on weekends, I don't carry any identification at all. I guess if I don't come home from riding, my wife will have to watch the news to see if some big dummy got hit riding the wrong way down a one-way street. Oh, I'm going to deviate on my new bike. I'm going to keep the handlebars clean.

5. I ride in the winter. Winter in these parts is pretty tough on bikes. Salt tends to have an adverse affect on chains, cassettes, wheels and anything else you can think of.

Now that I quit drinking, I can spend that money on bike stuff too.

You know the drill. Have a nice weekend. Ride your bike, but keep the airborne stuff to a minimum if you're over 200 pounds. Eat a donut. I had three today. I hope you won't think less of me for mowing my lawn this weekend. This will be the last time it's mowed this year. If a kid has a lemonade stand for hurricane relief, spend a buck and help out our fellow Americans on the Gulf Coast.

Please Don't Run Me Over

This morning's ride in was quite enjoyable, even with the rain. I need to get that front blinkie I keep talking about because I had two close calls. One was way closer than I would've liked. That one was on Minnehaha Avenue where a car pulled away from the curb and I had to dodge him. The other came at 47th and Chicago where a woman in her SUV was about to run a stop sign. I was lucky she had cat-like reflexes. And that she wasn't on her cell phone. Yet. Ok girls. Who do you need to call at six o'clock in the morning? Is there something you forgot to tell your husband before you left? Are the kids too stupid to find their underwear? Calling out for pizza? Yeah, it's not only women. There's enough men on the phone when they drive too.

Welcome home to you folks at 65th and Girard. The City will remove that elm tree I marked in the backyard for a mere $4500. I guess Junior won't be going to college after all. I gave you over two months to remove it on your own. Maybe that orange ring will light a fire under your ass.

Debra reported that her bike was the only one in the rack this morning. I guess the rain scared them off. Fair weather commuters. But not the little hard ass. She found out her new Adidas capri windpants hold in the heat quite well. Better than she wanted.

Is today's picture of you ok, Miss Debra. Soon, I'll have a cheap digital camera and there will no place anyone can hide from me.

The Polar Bear Rides With Me Every Day

How Long Will It Stay Clean?

Top two pictures are the before pictures of my room, and you guessed it, the bottom two are the after pictures. It wasn't that my room was unsanitary like some teenager's room, it was just kind of cluttered. I tend to not put my clothes away after washings and I collect a lot of crap on my desk. I'm not a huge pack rat, but I do tend to pile papers and stuff.

Metro Transit and Best Buy (the big corporate complex in Richfield) are extending a parking lot to provide some sort of bus drivers rest area. Hmm. Their contractor was to remove the trees in the way for this venture. He could of cut them down if he wanted. He called us and offered to let us move the trees with a tree spade. Sounds good. Free small trees to be moved to a park for only the tree moving costs. Piece of cake. Wrong, wrong, wrong. The first tree that was dug out showed that some fairly large electrical wires had been hit. Utilities had been located so this shouldn't of happened. This is when the tree moving project takes a turn for the worst. Guys from Best Buy come out. I talk to them. I talk to some guy from Metro Transit on the phone. He says that the trees weren't the contractor's to give away and that the City would have to repair the broken wire. I talk to my boss who eventually stops out. He talks to the contractor and the yahoo at Metro Transit. Oh, and it's raining quite heavily at this time. My boss tells me to take the tree that already been dug to the park and show the tree mover where to plant it. I gladly do so. I show the spot and head back to Best Buy Corporate Headquarters. By the time I get back the tree movers have called their boss to tell him the ground at the park is too hard to dig the hole. Wonderful. So, the tree eventually gets planted and the project is put on hold. This is the way every single project at the City goes.

Aimee Elizabeth is 3 months old today. Ella Sophia is 2 months old today. Raymond Sylvester is sober 3 months today. The girls will have to celebrate with formula, I guess. I guess I'll celebrate by riding the wrong way down some one-way street downtown. It beats drinking a big glass of formula.

Let's See If We Can Piss Off Our Wife Too

Get Your Knee Out Of The Way

Find The Happy Boy In The Picture

Had to be photographed with my new frame and my black Crosscheck. After the photo I re-wrapped my new frame with the protective stuff that it's shipped with. It doesn't matter that this new bike will be ridden in rain, snow, tornadoes and through scud missile attacks. For now, it is being carefully protected. Can I stop my 225 pounds with a coaster brake? I can still drag my feet Freddy Flinstone style if I need to. Oh yeah, that's my 11 year-old car in the background. If I sell it, don't buy it. The oil was just changed for the first time in seven months last Friday after 7000 miles. It hasn't been washed in about 6 or 7 months and I regularly use it to ram my neighbor's trash bin out of the way.

"Shootout" at Randy's was a ball. Good food and lots of ammo burned up. As usual, I couldn't hit shit. His place is 40 or 50 miles from the city. We didn't leave till almost midnight. The stars out that night were spectacular. Action photos of the shootout will be posted soon.

It took all of about four hours for my sister-in-law Carol to call me about the ironing picture I posted on Saturday. Luckily, I was in bed when my cell phone rang. She tried to be a hard ass, but she was laughing too hard to be perceived as angry. Sorry Sissy, you love me and you know it. I wonder if she saw the post or if someone in the family ratted me out. Lizzie, was it you?

There's 117 days left in this year including today. I need to ride 2473 miles to make 7000 for the year. That's an average of 21.1 miles per day. Included in this period will be Halloween, our 25th anniversary, Debra's birthday,Thanksgiving and Christmas. Glad I'll have a new bike for some of those miles. Pre-order the coconut cake for late December baby. Get the biggest one he's got. You know I like to share my cake.