A 6th Bike!

I'm stopping at Kenwood Cycle tonight to look at a single speed On One mountain bike. I haven't exactly received approval from Debbie regarding purchase of this one, but it's not like bringing another dog home. Maybe I could get the bike and a really small dog.

Yesterday, on the way home I went over the 17,000 mile mark for a 4 1/2 year period. The first year I got back into riding I only rode 1700 miles, so most of the mileage is over a 3 1/2 year period. It sounds like a big number, but it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Most of those miles are out the garage door. I have a bike carrier, but I hate to use it. I always picture the bike falling off the carrier.

Off tomorrow. Debbie will be off too. Bike ride, breakfast or lunch and then War of the Worlds.

We have a couple of parties this weekend. Sobriety won't be a problem. All my friends know I'm in treatment and support me completely. I've known most of these guys a long time and I'm still going to have fun without the drinking.




This is a picture of my Trek 7500 after riding in the snow last November. Actually, it's 5 pictures of it, but who's counting. I like to look at this picture on a 90 degree day because it reminds me that 90 isn't always that bad. I've been to hell and back with this bike. I need to get it fixed so that the whole fleet is in riding condition.

Congrats To Johnny Boy

This is me and my big brother John. This photo was taken in February at the Maxwell Street flea market in Chicago. The Maxwell Street flea market is actually on Canal Street, but that's a longer story. Yep, that's food in my hand. This picture probably won't show the mustard on the jacket I was wearing. I borrowed the jacket out of the closet of coats, as my nephew Paul calls it. I would've worn the Member's Only, but it was cold, rainy, snowy and shitty that morning. In other words, a perfect day for Maxwell Street. My mother made that stocking cap that my brother has on. That cap could be the last remaining artifact from my Mother's knitting phase. Good thing. John just celebrated 35 years at Xerox yesterday. Shit, that's a long time at one job. He started out fixing copy machines. Sorry boy, I can't quite remember what you do now, but I'm sure it's damn important. My brother started at Xerox when copy machines were still powered by diesel engines. I still remember his first company car, a real shitbox. My brother is in the process of "re-building" two junk bikes he recently acquired. I'm sure I'll take one of them out and be walking it home the next time I visit. Well boy, congrats. Enjoy you're new granddaughter. Oh, how many years till you change careers and become a Wal Mart greeter?

Last Picture Of The Day

This one was taken on Christmas Day '04 at Ma's apartment. I'm holding a plate that she has on her wall. The plate says Nobody Likes A Smart Ass. I'm also wearing my Christmas Tommy Bahama silk shirt. I really love that shirt. I'm glad I married a girl who likes a smart ass.

You Should See Them When They're Beating The Shit Out Of Each Other

Here's my little girls in a quiet moment from last October. They don't usually lie this close to each other. Two or three times a day they engage in a very rough wrestling match. They use to wrestle more but Wu is a little old for that kind of stuff. It doesn't matter what kind of day I have, the girls are always happy to see me. I think the only reason I bought a house is so I could have dogs. Get used to dog pictures, 'cause I've got a shitload of them.

Who's That Lady?

Here's a picture of Debbie and her Surly. I took the picture in March with a disposable camera and had it put on a disc at Walgreens. Not sure how this will look on my page. Remember, I'm from Chicago, so pictures taken in the alley are a way of life. I know this one was taken on a Friday because the recycling bin is in the alley. If this picture doesn't come off too shitty, I may post more. I still need a digital camera, but this posting is a major event in my blogging.

I've already checked this out online. If you click on the picture, it enlarges the image. The picture was actually taken in February. I know this because I can see Red Trek in the background. I wouldn't have ridden the Trek if I had my Surly. I picked up my Surly at Freewheel on March 4th.

Stream Of Consciousness

Rode the tandem with Debbie yesterday morning. We substituted a breakfast stop at Uptown Diner for the donut stop at Scandia Bake Shop. For my money, Uptown Diner has some of the best blueberry pancakes I've ever eaten. Debbie had the eggs benedict which is her favorite. We rode 27 miles and had a ball. The tandem is great for conversations. We keep Sunday morning open for our tandem ride.

Trimmed Snowy and Wu's nails yesterday afternoon. Wu's a trooper, but Snowy is a big baby. It's a two man job to trim Snowy's nails, one person to trim and one person to hold her down and comfort her. My dogs are big babies because of me. I can live with that.

Stopped at County Cycle in Roseville after Kohl's yesterday. They're a Bianchi dealer. Was able to leave without buying another bike. How's that for restraint. I'm still scraping the dough together for the On One 456 frame.

Read my homework assignment for my group treatment session tonight. I had to read the first 5 chapters of the AA handbook. Yes, reading it will help me. Yes, I have the attention span of a small child. Still not sure how I got through all the reading assignments required for college. We're talking about someone who has trouble sticking it out through a magazine article.

This is one of our busiest weeks of the year at work. We have to get the town spiffed up for the 4th of July celebration. Parade, carnival and fireworks. Nothing too unusual. The boys have to take direction from the Recreation Division because this is Rec's big dog and pony show of the year. The boys just love taking direction from Recreation. My friend Larry lives on the parade route. The parade starts at 2. I'm used to being hammered by the time the parade starts. Let's see just how entertaining this parade is when I'm sober.

The rain gods located me this morning. By the time I got to work I was pretty saturated. No big deal. Rain, snow, heat, cold, locusts, alien invasions. Riding in all conditions is what separates us from the pack. You know who you are.

Bike Riding, Ma And A Tattoo Party

Have ridden my fair share the last two days. 35 miles yesterday and 31 today. Now I know that's not like the 70-100 mile rides that some people put in, but it's pretty good for me. I really enjoy meeting Debbie at the hospital on my Fridays I'm off. We rode to White Castle for some burgers and then along the river. We even stopped at some garage sales.

Today, I rode my Rockhopper through the lakes to the Cedar Lake Trail. I took the Cedar Lake Trail to downtown and then on to Freewheel for a cup of coffee. Jim, Mike and I discussed how I should have the On One frame built up. I'm leaning towards more than one gear, but who knows. I've got to get the damn thing first.

We're going to stop at Mother's this afternoon. Ma will like that.

Big party at my favorite tattoo parlor this afternoon. Live music and an art show. I've got an idea for another tattoo and I hear a guy who specializes in colorful ink will be doing a guest shot for the next week.

It's Borderline Hot

It's about 3:40 pm and it's 94 degrees. I guess you could call that hot. I deal better on my bike when it's 80 dgrees colder than this, but hot weather doesn't really bother me. I've consumed about 42 gallons of water today so I should be ok. One of our part-time summer kids caught a ride from his brother instead of riding his bike home. I gave him a load of shit because he has a two mile commute. I'm going to take the scenic route home through Lake Harriet to enjoy the lake and the trees. My wife knows why I'm really taking that route.

Tomorrow is my regular Friday off. I plan on a lot of riding. After escort service I may either meet the QBP people in Richfield or head out to Saint Paul. My neighbor Louise and her sister have a coffee shop in Saint Paul and I've never been to it yet. My favorite story about Louise will be of her mowing the lawn when she was 8 months and about 28 days pregnant. Debbie gets off at 1, so we'll probably ride some after that.

First treatment meeting with my group went well. My counselor William is a great guy and the group seems to really love him. This group has been together for a while so I was a little apprehensive being the new guy. They treated me like I'd been there all along. We're all just people who had a substance that at first was enjoyable and then slowly took over our lives.

Because of Donut Guy I'm now jones-ing for an On One frame called the Inbred :-) I have no idea how I would have it built up, but it looks really cool. What are 250 pounds in American money? I may have to start storing bikes up in the main level of my house. Just kidding doll.

I'm Really Not Much Of A Bug Expert

Some guy brought a bug in this morning that he spotted at a nature center in a neighboring community. He/she is on my desk in some type of deli container with hole in the top. I wish the guy had brought me potato salad instead of a bug. One of the guys has a bug book at home and is going to help me identify it so we can call the guy back. I'll probably be bringing bugs in when I'm retired so I can't bad mouth the guy too bad.

Treatment orientation was ok. I had to watch a 20 minute film on the effects of drugs and alcohol on your brain. Then the counselor outlined the program for me. I think a lot of orientation is based on the hospital's need to cover their ass legally. My treatment program starts tonight. I have to be at the hospital at 5 for the initial session and then at 5:30 the rest of the time.

I really need to see War Of The Worlds starring Tom Cruise. I've already been taken in by slick advertising. It opens on June 29th.

After riding my Rockhopper the last two days I've come to the realization that those larger tires on the Salsa and Surly make a huge difference. I like my Rockhopper but I just can't go as fast as I can on the bikes with the 700's. I'd like to do some mountain biking as a change-up to street and trail riding. Debbie just read about the mountain biking and is on her way to Walgreens for first aid supplies.

I Have Orientation Tonight

I have to be at Fairview Riverside Hospital at 7:30 tonight for treatment orientation. Debbie thinks that I'll get to meet my group counselor at this time. I look forward to getting things started. Let's see how I feel in 5 weeks or so. When I tell people that I'm going to treatment, some of them are almost afraid to ask questions. If I were in Chicago, they sure the hell wouldn't be shy.

I've gotten to the point where I can ride a half-way decent wheelie on my Specialized Rockhopper here in the office. Can you ride your bike in the building at your place of employment? If you can't, what a pity. Stop down here some time and we'll let you practice your wheelies at our place.

Power was off at home for 4 or 5 hours last night. The cause of the problem was an elm tree that split apart in yesterday afternoon's winds. I took Debbie to show her and did a quick diagnosis of why the tree fell apart. She's under the impression that I know a lot about trees. Actually, my college degree is in finance. I always offer homeowners the chance to have their stock portfolio evaluated as well as a tree inspection.

They'd Have To Time Me With A Calendar

Congrats to John (2:17), Trent (1:40) and Susan (2:42) for their efforts in Saturday's Grandma's Half Marathon. Trent beat his time of last year by nine minutes. Not bad for a 6'1", 200 pound fella who also loves to drink beer and have an occasional heater. Also congrats to DC and Thrill for their efforts. Take care of that toe, Thrill. It looks painful. I could probably run/walk 13.1 miles, but I'd probably finish on Tuesday.

The Specialized Rockhopper is roadworthy again. Josh replaced another broken spoke and put the wheel back on the bike after dinner last night. Then, he and I took it through the neighborhood and beat the pee pee out of it. No broken spokes so far. Today, I stopped at Erik's in Bloomington to get a new battery for the computer. Now four out of five of my rides are rideable. I still have to figure out what I want to do with Red Trek.

Bikeway committee meeting today at 2:30. The committee consists of engineers from Richfield, some Penn Cycle people, QBP people and me. We're attempting to put Richfield on the map in the bicycle world. The only reason I'm in on the group is because I ride so much. I'm also the only person who rides a bike to the meeting.

Rumor has it that my brother Jim is reading this thing. Well James, it's a lot about bikes, Mother and soon my treatment meetings. You're still not pissed off about that stolen bike of yours from 35 years ago, are you?

The Sunday Morning Donut Ride

We're out trying to ride off the 1000 or so calories from the donuts we had at Scandia Bake Shop this morning. Debbie and I want to make Sunday morning our time to ride the tandem, BS, and of course stop for donuts. It sure seems like people get a kick out of the tandem because they almost always stop to look at you.

After I post this drivel we're going to ride through downtown and on to Freewheel. I want to show Debbie a bike I want. No, I really don't need another bike, but what the hell has that got to do with anything. I'd post a link to the picture of it, but the Gary Fisher bikes web site is being very uncooperative. The bike is a basic brick red mountain bike called Opie. It's got big fat tires and really low gearing. The beauty part is that it's $350.39, tax included. I've save that much the last two weeks by not drinking. Well, maybe not that much.

Patrick at Freewheel tightened all kinds of stuff on the Salsa yesterday morning. He says the headset is shot. I'm going with a Chris King headset next time. I think it's worth the money. Patrick also adjusted the front deraillleur to eliminate that annoying rubbing sound.

After almost 47 years as Debbie, my wife is considering a name change. She says that people have a hard time remembering her name. They call her Betty, Sally and Diane to name just a few. She's strongly considering Sacagawea or Lowanda. I only call her Debbie when I'm looking for her immediate attention.

Josh and Cip are coming over for dinner tonight. I like when the kids come for dinner because we get a decent meal. Just kidding, Debbie. I mean Sacagawea. Lasagne tonight. Oh goody!

I'm Sorry I'm Not Driving Fast Enough For You

Whatever happened to Friday night cruise. God, do I hate driving a car. I had three people get all pissy behind me because I wasn't driving like Jeff Gordon. Hey kids, the speed limit on the Parkway is 25 mph. Some woman even honked her horn at me which I acknowledged with a gesture which really pissed her off. We do that kind of thing in Chicago all the time. It's no big deal to us.

Party tomorrow at Kleves. I have to bring a bottle of Cold Duck for the boys in honor of our deceased co-worker Davey. He brought a bottle of that crap to the party last year with a can of pickled quail eggs. I guess 35 years at the City will make you sort of strange.

Some guy called my office line today to complain about 8 am jackhammering by a City crew. You'd have to hear it to do justice to his words. At the end of his voicemail he said, 'it's against the fucking law'. Actually, the noise ordinance prohibits loud noises such as jackhammering before 7 am. I think next week we have another job down the street from him that's scheduled to start at 7 am and 30 seconds. We're like that, but down deep we're just kind sensitive guys with jackhammers and other noisy shit.

Enjoy your weekend. Ride your bike.

I Don't Think The Crank Is Supposed To Swing Freely In A Circle

Rode the Salsa to work this morning. I can even go relatively fast on my Salsa. So I'm cruising along, enjoying life and have to stop at the light at 66th and Bloomington. I take off from the light and my left foot makes a violent rotation. At first I thought the chain fell off. The chain is still on but I look down and both cranks are in the down position. Hmm. So I'm thinking that the bike will be harder to ride like this. I got off and pushed it over to the curb. The crank will spin in a full circle. I had just seen my co-worker Mark go by in his City vehicle. I called him on his Nextel and asked if he could pick me up. He took me the rest of the way to work. I showed my bike to Paul who's one of our mechanics. He promised me that he'd fix it if he could. The bolt that connects the crank to the bottom bracket became disconnected. Don't ask me to use correct bike lingo because I don't know much of it. Anyways, I took the bike for a spin after Paul tightened everything and a longer ride at lunch. Everything seems to be OK.

I probably should learn to fix some of this stuff. I should probably learn to fix flats. I want to take the basic maintenance class at Freewheel. Then at least I'll know what some of these parts are called.

The guy at 74th and Blaisdell won't be receiving a Christmas card from me. I marked an elm tree that he'd been complaining about for years. It doesn't have Dutch Elm Disease and it's not hazardous. The guy called so many times that he wore me out. We had other things going such as tree planting and stump grinding so we haven't been able to remove it yet. So he called the city manager and threatened to go to the council meeting to bellyache. Good thing the city manager is such a level-headed guy. We'll remove it in the next couple of days to get this guy off our ass.

Friday tomorrow. Donut day at the public works garage. The weekend can't be far off now.

No, I've Never Taken Speed

My evaluation with my counselor Ruth went quite well. She went through the laundry list of drugs to which I answered no every time. She applauded me for seeking help on my own. It turns out that the self-help route is rare. Most people are at treatment because of either a court order or an ultimatum from a spouse or employer. She also said that most people don't want to give up something that's so pleasurable. So, I go to group meetings from 5:30 to 7:30 on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays for 8 weeks. I have an orientation next Tuesday and start group meetings the next day. The boys at work have been very supportive. Oh, my evaluation identified me as a user and abuser of alcohol but not chemically dependent.

Debbie calls me Saint Raymond, the patron saint of lost dogs. I got another one home last night. He followed us through the neighborhood while we were walking our dogs. I walked him around the block to see if somebody was out looking for him. No luck. I called the Minneapolis Animal Shelter. They were closed but referred us to police dispatch. He had a identification tag on from the pound with his id number. The animal control officer called, looked up his number on his computer and gave us the owner's address. The dog's name is Vince. He's a pit bull mix. I walked him home two blocks away. The owner pulled up as I was about to ring the bell. The owner was happy that he didn't have to pick Vince up at the pound and pay the fine. Mother can attest that I was always bringing stray dogs home as a kid.

Boy is my Surly filthy. I just looked at it here in the office. Time for cleaning and chain degreasing. It was raining again when I left for work this morning. Hopefully, it won't be raining tomorrow morning and I can ride the Salsa. The boys are intrigued by the clipless pedals. I may even ride it with the Shimano sandals that are set up for clipless pedals.

Finally. Thanks Debbie for going with me to my evaluation last night. You really are the best.

A Heart To Heart

Finally talked with one of my co-workers who has been through treatment about what I'm going to go through. I've known him for over twenty years and respect his opinion. He told me not to dwell on the problem. According to him, recognizing the problem and being willing to do something is a very important first step. He also said that accepting that I'm an alcoholic is very important. I think I did that this morning. That acceptance hits you kind of hard. There's such a stigma attached to that one word.

I meet with my counselor at 3:30 today. I'm apprehensive, but also look forward to the meeting. I get off at 2 and will ride home, shower and then take the car. It's pea soup humid today and I don't want to arrive at the hospital all sweaty.

Here we go. No turning back now.

A Rather Eclectic Gathering

Went on the 4th Lower Northeast bike ride and bar tour last night. No drinking, just diet cola. I knew this wouldn't be much of a challenge to my sobriety. My will to not give in is very strong. I have something to prove to myself. I went because I knew some of the Saturday Night Ride regulars would be there. We all hung out together most of the night. It was quite a large group out on this thing. I'd say 150-200 people. By 10 o'clock the group had become well lubricated. The bar stops were quite close so there wasn't much riding done. I hope everybody got home safely.

I left about 10:45 pm when some of the conversations stopped making sense. If you were videotaped when you were drunk, you might not be so proud of yourself. Besides, the alarm goes off at our house at 4:45 am. So, I saddled up and headed down Central Avenue through downtown. Sorry Mr businessman who just got off the LRT, that cabbie already has a fare and there's no other cabs around. You're on 3rd Avenue in downtown Minneapolis, not Michigan Avenue in downtown Chicago. The city on a warm summer night has a feel about it. Sirens, cops, the train. I grew up with it, and I love it. It was great to be sober and concentrate on riding instead of concentrating on not falling down. Rode down 3rd to 10th Street, 10th to Portland. I was flying down Portland when I noticed a large black cat about to cross my path. Kitty was really big, about the size of a Mini Cooper. He was able to hit the brakes when he/she saw me and head back the other way. Thank you kitty cat. Hitting you would've ruined both of our evenings. Continued down Portland to 42nd Street and home. I arrived sweaty but happy. Shared an English muffin with the dogs, shower and went to bed. Between the group ride and the tandem ride with Debbie in the morning I rode 37 miles for the day.

One's Too Many And A Million Aren't Enough

The title of today's post is a saying my Uncle Steve always used. He died 15 years ago this weekend. He was 68 when he died which would've made me 32. So I haven't heard this line in quite a while. His words have finally sunk in. I started drinking when I was 17. Wow, 30 years! I shudder to think about how much money we're talking about. Not to mention the brain cells I killed. The problem has become more acute the last couple of years. Having a drink earlier and earlier in the day has become the norm. There are two days of the recent Memorial Day weekend that I have a sketchy recollection of. I came to the decision to go to treatment last Monday. I meet with a CD counselor on Tuesday at 3:30. I'm going to do my treatment program as an out-patient. I've already quit drinking. I've had one drink since last Sunday, a ceremonial Crown Royal on the rocks at O'Brien's Decoy in Northeast Minneapolis. For the record, it was on the house even though I didn't tell the bartender of my plans.

I'm not using the treatment program to quit. I've already done that with no physical withdrawal. Going to treatment will act as a signal to my drinking buddies that I'm serious and want the madness to end. As I tell each of my friends about treatment, I also tell them to kill me if I become a preachy ex-drunk.

Is this going to be hard? No, the hard part was actually making the decision to go to treatment. Last Monday was hell. Being the party animal has been woven into the fabric of who I am for a really long time. It used to be that I was proud of the image but now I think I'm just viewed as a drunk. A drunk who rides a shitload of miles on his bikes but a drunk just the same. It's not all about some GD image. The heavy drinking can't be doing my health any good. There's a reason my Uncle only lived 68 years.

The world loves to tell you what you can't do and root against you. Bullshit. There are no over-achievers. There are, however, under-estimators. This isn't going to be hard, riding 857 miles in 27 days last November, now that was hard.

Welcome To The Family

The newest edition to our family is Aimee Elizabeth born at 11:29 pm last night. I'm glad she was born before midnight. The date will always have great significance to Aimee, her parents and me. Nine pounds, two ounces and twenty inches long. Women always want to know that weight and length stuff for some reason. Congratulations Brian and Liz! I can't wait to see her.

It seems like I was on my bike for most of the day yesterday. Escort service included a stop at the Franklin Avenue Holiday gas station for coffee and muffins. They sell Krispy Kremes, but those things can't be all that fresh. And as Donut Guy says, they're overrated. As far as chain donuts go, I like Dunkin Donuts. No Dunkin Donuts in Minneapolis :-( After a kiss at the hospital (from my wife) I took off for some touring. Rode over to the U, then through the buildings on the sidewalk. Nobody around, schools out. Headed down the trail that parallels the bus transitway to a little past Highway 280, turned around and headed back to campus. 4th Street down to east Hennepin where I witnessed some road rage lite. I interjected to the combatants, 'Jesus Christ, can't we all just get along'. There may have been an f-word between just and get. The male combatant laughed and agreed. The female combatant laughed too. Headed across Hennepin Avenue bridge to Washington where I exchanged pleasantries with a guy (Matt) who I'd seen at Freewheel. He's a regular on Kevin's (Freewheel owner) Thursday night ride. Hey Kevin, let's do a Thursday night ride in December. That will even the playing field for me. Stopped at One on One to look at a bike in the window. It's a gold Bridgestone fixie that looks really cool. Rode around back past Sexworld (there was a guy heading in for early morning porn) and through the alley behind One on One. I love the bike repair entrance of One on One because it reminds me of Chicago. Rode through downtown to the LRT trail and then home. Twenty miles before 8 am. Yahoo!

Laundry, haircut and then walked my friend's (Kris) dog. She's pregnant (Kris, not the dog) and hasn't been able to take Harry for much of a walk. He and and Snowy loved the walk. After this it was time to head back to the hospital. I met Debbie at 1 and had pizza at Davanni's. She was done with work so we rode to One on One for coffee and to look at the bikes and artwork. Talked Debbie into buying a pair of knickers. Hers are forest green and actually cooler looking than the ones I linked to. We then rode through downtown and stopped at Freewheel so Debra could get some new gloves and to avoid a downburst of rain. Left Freewheel and got home a little after 5. Rode 38 miles for the day. Average speed of 13.5. What a fun day.

The Natives Are Getting Restless

Day 2 of storm clean-up has brought some genuine pissyness from the citizens of Richfield. We can't be everywhere. These people have a patience period of about 8 hours before they start calling back repeatedly. I especially like the ones where both spouses will call independently of each other. Debbie wouldn't call the City of Minneapolis even if there were a dead body on the boulevard, unless possibly if it were mine.

Twenty minutes to freedom. My regular Friday off is tomorrow. My boss gets to deal with the phone calls. Ha ha. Going out for ribs tonight and then possibly stop at one of the bookstores in town. I look forward to escort service in the morning and then a little longer ride. Haircut appointment at 10 and before you know it I'll be back at the hospital to escort Mrs home. She's getting off work at 1 so we'll have the whole afternoon to pal around together.

After riding green Giant to work for three days I rode my Surly today. Something in the bottom bracket area is making a clicking sound on the Giant. Bike techno geeks, any ideas? I wore my YOUR BIKE SUCKS socks today. Say that 10 times fast. When I ride the green Giant the socks should say MY BIKE SUCKS. I had the stem changed to a really upright position when I was a 300 pounder and it changed the whole geometry of the bike. I think I can adjust the stem so I can dig in a little better when I need to. This is the bike I put the studded tires on, which makes it even more of a chore to ride in the winter.

Have a great weekend. I know where you live. You're going to wake up tomorrow morning with a big pile of woodchips in your yard. I'll have them flown out to Pennsylvania for Donut Guy and Jank. We've got about 20 tons of them to get rid of :-)

They Got Their Money's Worth Today

Just getting ready to leave. I think I drove about 150 miles today checking out storm damaged trees. Trees on cars, vans, houses. I don't mind it. Storms are where the forester earns his stripes. I hope that split tree on 16th Avenue holds together tonight. It seems like two days ago that I drove to Super America for coffee this morning because the power was out. Every time I came back to the office there were 15 new voicemails waiting for me. I can see out the window that the sky is dark to the south. Oh goody. We sure don't need another storm. I'm tired and look forward to throwing my bag over my shoulder for a nice ride home on green Giant. Met some nice people today who are going to be dealing with their insurance agent tonight. One more day of work left for this week unless I'm needed on Friday.

Some Days I Love This Job Or Don't Hit Him In Head With That

Today was just one of those days where all the people I dealt with were pretty cool:

Called to look at an elm tree with a small hole in one stem. Homeowner is an Edina cop. He was worried that the tree might fall on the house, car, wife or dog. He said he worried most about it falling on the dog.

Backyard ash tree had a shitload of seeds. Teenage daughter was home. Dog was a boxer named Lucky. Young lady wore a t-shirt that had - Save a cow - Be a vegetarian on it. Nice kid. Well spoken.

Talked to a lady on my cell while looking at a bush at an adjacent park. I told her the bush isn't causing the problems with her maple tree. She had left me some nasty voicemails but seemed to love me live on the phone. She's a registered dietician. Her last name is Peas. No, I didn't make that up. Her dog's name is Beemy.

Dying boulevard tree on Lakeview Avenue. Large dog comes running at me. Thank God he's friendly. I throw his stick for him, mark the tree for removal and then watch one of the homeowner's grandchildren whack the other kid in the head with a branch. As grandma corrects the whacker I remind her that the kids will eventually leave. Grandma gets a good laugh out of that.

Boulevard oak has died. Homeowner who I had talked with on the phone about tree issues many times is finally met in person. She notices the top of my tattoo on my leg. She smiles and wants to know what the rest of it looks like. I can wear shorts in the summer as long as I wear socks that cover the part of my tattoos that might offend some people. When she re-assures me that she won't call my boss or the cops I show her the works. She laughs her ass off and heads into the house.

The guy at the tobacco shop at 66th and Penn asks about the road rash on my right arm. I pull up my sleeve and show him my polar bear on a mountain bike tattoo and tell the guy that the bear fell off his bike. The gentleman is of some type of Middle Easter heritage tells me that only Americans have a sense of humor like that.

Mark an boulevard elm for Dutch Elm Disease. Homeowner works out of his house. Has his own advertising business. Said he gave up the corporate world a couple of years ago. I tell him that it sounds great. He says it's great when his clients pay their bills.

Tomorrow could be a whole different story. That's the beauty of this job. Attitudes change when I start marking private elm trees. Then people will have to dig into their own pockets.

Thanks, Mr. Road Bike Guy

Had a roadie pull up along side me on the Greenway yesterday and yell,' grab my wheel'. So, I'm thinking ok. In the ensuing conversation he talks about how he kind of felt sorry for me having to ride with the big bag and all. He also talks about how he had to stand up for roadies because as he put it,' you were about to embarrass that other roadie'. Hmm. I wasn't trying to embarrass anyone. The guy I passed wasn't exactly on some sort of ice cream ride. Ice cream ride is defined as the way most people ride. You know, pedal 10 revs and then coast, 10 revs and coast. Then I asked him if he wanted to draft and I hit the gas. We were going about 23 mph. He seemed to love it and remarked about how little wind resistance there was behind me. I guess between my girth and the bag, the wind resistance is blocked pretty well. He got off at Bryant and I continued on quite content with myself. Euphoria lasted all of about 10 minutes. I break a pretty good sweat when I ride whether it's hot or cold which creates the problem with my sunglasses of fogging in winter and outright sweat coverage in summer. Back to the loss of euphoria. With sunglasses dripping I missed seeing a huge pothole on 38th Street just west of Cedar. Yep. Down we go. I was close to the curb and went down in a heap. Confounding the crash was that the car next to me hit his brakes hard forcing the woman behind him to swerve towards yours truly. She came closer to hitting me than I would've liked. Apologized to the stressed out poor girl for falling and instructed her to put her cell phone down and not call for an ambulance. Road rash on right elbow. Chain has fallen off. Being the clod I am, I can't get the chain back on. I walk the bike the last 7 or 8 blocks home. My neighbor who is a car mechanic puts my chain back on and shows sympathy for my bleeding arm and wounded psyche. I need to start using my flip-up sunglasses like the baseball players use. More air gets past the glasses which helps with the moisture problem. Is it just me, or does it seem like you end up on the ground sometimes awfully GD quickly?

Keep Your Sunglasses Handy

Judging from the radar screen in the street foreman's office, it looks like its going to rain for a while. Now, I'm no weatherman, but I have learned a little about reading the radar screen. I hope I'm wrong and all of you in Minneapolis have your sunblock out this afternoon. Hell, you can only get so wet on your bike. Rain days are when its nice to have a beater bike.

Was extremely good boy last night. Rode home and had a couple of beers with Debbie out on the porch. Rode to video store and took slightly longer route home. Dinner, movie and beddy bye. No late night phone calling. Their lives were missing something because I didn't call them. How's that for "swagger", Debra?

Now that I've been fed and watered this morning I'll be willing to brave Sam's Club. Saturday at Sam's Club is always a mad house.

Last night's movie, by the way was The Life Aquatic with Bill Murray in it. We both loved it even though a certain 4'11" little girl was nodding off. I relate to his character in this movie. He doesn't know shit about oceanography and I don't know shit about forestry. We do however, cover well with bullshit.

Saturday Night Ride. Who knows. Let's see just how hard it's raining at 8:30 tonight.

Garden Variety Schmoozing

There's a kid on the next block who leaves for work about the time I'm heading back from escort service to 28th and Hiawatha. The first time we passed about three weeks ago I smiled as we passed. He kind of leered at me. Then there was the pass with mutual leering. I can play that shit too. I told my wife of this and she just laughed. She said, 'a month from now you'll have schmoozed the little bastard and he'll love you'. This week we passed and I smiled again and said,' Good Morning'. He returned my greeting with the same. So this morning I saw him in the driveway getting ready to leave. I stopped. I think at first he was afraid. We introduced ourselves and talked bikes and commutes for about 5 minutes. He rides a Fuji fixie with a 49 X 18. That information is for my bike bloggy geeks. I even understand those ratios because of Surly single-speed gearing 101 on their blog. Turns out the kid (Connor) works at a bike shop one day a week. Campus Bike or something like that. He complimented my Surly. I told him I still need a fixie. Maybe in 5 or 6 more thousand miles I'll convert the Surly to fixed and build up another Crosscheck with a full range of gears. I hope Surly doesn't change the Crosscheck to some hideous color.

Lawn was mowed last night. Will have to get a farmer to run a bailer through the yard. Rake! Are you out of your mind? I was going to include an f-word adjective in front of mind but I don't want to be looked at as just some foul-mouthed bastard.

Stopped for cash and beer on the way home. Weighed my bag when I got home. 22 pounds. Big deal, it's not like it's 40 pounds or something. A big fat-ass like me should be able to hump 22 pounds and still ride reasonably fast.

Have a nice weekend.

The Luny (thanks for that one S**ha)

'Cause I'm A Loser Baby, So Why Don't You Kill Me

Thanks to my friend Larry (aka The Plumber) the bathroom sink drains again. It was no small task. He had to take the pipework apart below the sink and run a sewer snake into the basement piping. I could've done that, but after I would've failed, the bathroom light would go out when you turn on the hot water or something like that. Once again, it's wonderful to have a friend who's also a plumber and works for beer and food. Debbie made a turkey breast with potatoes and carrots. Unbelievably delicious.

Marked 3 small maple trees in a row on 5th Avenue this afternoon. Not a leaf on any of them. I can even tell when they're dead.

Lawn mowing tonight. Hell, it's been almost two weeks. When the dogs refuse to do their "business" on the lawn because of the length of the grass, it's officially time to mow. But first we ride to the bank and the liquor store. It's un-American to mow the lawn and not celebrate your accomplishment with a beer.

I kind of hate riding through Richfield on some of the side streets. Many contain unmarked intersections and cars who think they're on the freeway. Speaking of speeders, our boys in blue are out in force today with their radar guns. I even saw one cop hiding in the bushes on a motorcycle. I was obeying the speed limit when I went by in my city vehicle.

Almost 85 degrees here today. Time to fire up the air conditioner. The air will now not be shut off till Halloween. I live by the airport and on the busline. Those two items together make it hard to hear television sometimes.

Hey Kids, Get Off The Couch

While out driving on my job today I went past a school playground a couple of times. I don't know how old these kids are, but there's more than a few of them who are kind of chunky. Are kids that glued to video games, television and the computer these days? Yeah, some of it is hereditary to be sure. Inactivity has to be the blame for some of them. God knows what an even bigger little fatty I'd of been as a kid if I hadn't played sports year-round and rode my bike everywhere I went. My mother was a great cook and I grew up under the premise that you haven't eaten until you've also had desert. My wife and I are still like that. Imagine Homer Simpson saying 'dooonuts', and then drooling. It's a fact, kids get driven to more places than I did as a kid. My mother's belief was that you got there on your bike or the bus, or you weren't getting there. The world is a rougher place than when I grew up, but can't kids ride a bike occasionally to get where they're going?

Note to the citizens of Richfield: If you're going to leave a three minute voicemail about your tree, please include your address in your dissertation. Also, don't ramble over and over about the same shit and then rip off your phone number very, very quickly.

Rumor has it that the plumbing will get fixed tonight. Thank God.

Rain has been on the radar all day but nothing has fallen. I'm pretty sure that by the time I'm ready to ride home, it will be raining.

No word from Chicago on the birth of my niece Lizzy's baby. It's supposed to be any day now. Maybe a quick road trip to Chicago will be in order to see the new baby. I'll take Ma with as my driver. I believe she still has a valid license from Missouri. Parking at my brother's house is always a problem. Two people live there but there's always five cars in the driveway. I hope you read that Johnny Boy and e-mail me with your counterpoint.